Meet Kristal Jane Anderson.
The girl that feels as though she was stripped from all the joys of life on one ungodly night. A night that changed her whole perspective on love forever, a night in which she stopped believing in it's existence, a night...
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Kristal Anderson
I feel like I'm disappointing my mother.
That was a thought that entered my mind and won't seem to be leaving anytime soon. My mother's face of disappointed flashed before my eyes, I pictured her looking down at me from wherever she is and being. . . disappointed. Disappointed with the way I was acting, with my decisions.
Finding my mother's lifeless body on our living room floor was the most painful thing I've had to experience, the body of the woman who used to greet me with a bright smile when I got home from school, unmoving. That image was engraved in my mind. Even now nearly 16 years later my brain was still able to produce a vivid replica of those events.
It managed to be just as painful as the first time.
A small part of my soul dies everytime my brain decides to torture me and force me to relive that day.
I know my mother left with a beautiful image of me; a beautiful nine year old girl who was oblivious to her parents marridal issues, with big dreams and bright smile that could light up every room.
My chest constricted at the thought of my mother looking down at me, disappointed with the path I was headed in, with the way I was repaying the woman who saved me from the foster care system.
That was enough to make me second guess everything I had done and everything that I was going to do. My friendship with Aiden. All of it.
I couldn't let that happen.
I couldn't stand the thought of me distorting the image she had of me before she passed.
I couldn't disappoint her.
I couldn't–
Ding
My phone made me stop in my tracks and pulled me out of the rabbit hole I had fallen into.
I furrowed my eyebrows realizing was I standing in the middle of my bedroom. Another realization hit me that I'd been pacing around the length of my bedroom that entire time but I could've sworn I was just in bed a millisecond ago.
I picked my phone up my nightstand. When I saw who the text was from, it was almost as if my phone turned into lava right before my eyes making me drop it back on my nightstand and took a step back.
Speak of the devil.
I forced myself to ignore the butterflies that brewed at the pit of my stomach at the mere sight of his name.
I couldn't disappoint her.
I needed to stop entertaining this. . . whatever this was between us.
I took another step back and turned away from my nightstand, my eyes searched my room for something, anything to distract myself with. My eyes landed on my desk; crumbled up papers, a few color pencils, my sketch book, and my cereal bowl from this morning littered the place.
