Uncontrollable Feeling

Chapter 46

Kristal Anderson

"Tell me what?" Aiden stood in the doorway with a cup of coffee in each hand. 

Neither Thea nor I could hide our visible shock at his presence. A few moments of uncomfortable silence filled the room, the silence was laced with guilt and only served to confirm that we were indeed keeping something from him. Thea turned to face him fully, but not before giving me a supportive look that told me, 'You got this. '

"Thanks for the coffee, A," She said, breaking the silence while walking towards him, grabbing a cup from his hand on her way out. "I need to make a quick call, brb you guys." 

Though I appreciated her giving us some privacy to converse in peace, I had already made up my mind on the matter.

Aiden could not know the truth about my mother's murderer. At least for the time being.

How does one tell the love of their life that their father is a possible murderer? How could I possibly explain to him that our families were already intertwined long before we met? How could I explain something that I barely understood myself? I couldn't bring myself to drop such a bomb on him.

"Kris, what's going on?" He walked deeper into the room and placed his cup of coffee on the table beside my bed. His brows were knitted close, expressing a mixture of worry and confusion.

I offered him a small smile in an attempt to lighten the mood, to show him that there was nothing to worry about."It's nothing important, I just. . . really need a hug right now," 

And just like that, his brows practically melted back into their original position as his eyes softened. That look of worry still plagued his features, but he didn't push for the time being. He leaned in and embraced my sore body in a tender hug. I returned the gesture, using my hand to wrap around the back of his neck, pulling him as close as I possibly could.

He took a deep breath, taking in my scent, showing me how he needed this as much as I did. His mere presence was healing; it allowed me to forget for just a moment, it brought me a moment of peace. 

He pulled away just enough to look into my eyes, our faces just inches apart. "You don't have to keep things from me, you know? I'm here with you, I'm here for you, but I need you to let me in, Darlin"

The hand that was once wrapped around the back of his neck moved to caress his face tenderly, "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, you know that?" His dimpled smile lit up the room in response. I meant every word of it. Day after day, pieces of what I thought was the life I knew crumbled before my eyes, proving that I was living a lie. He was the only constant. The only element I was clinging to for dear life to keep me afloat.

"I know, I tend to have that effect on people" That managed to get a small chuckle out of both of us, but it was very short-lived, the heaviness of the situation too thick in the room to ignore. Reality dawned on us, and our smiles dropped slowly. "You're gonna get through this, we're gonna get through this because, unfortunately for you, this time there's no pushing me away or shutting me out. I'm with you till the very end, Kris."

In situations like this, my first instinct was to push people away, to spare them the burden of having to deal with a damaged girl. Aunt Jenna had been my rock, my foundation, my guardian angel for as long as I could remember. Without her, I barely knew who I was. I grew up so dependent on her that now, I didn't know if I could survive without her.

Dragging him along through my journey of self-discovery, post-Aunt Jenna seemed illogical and selfish. He deserved better than this, someone stable. Someone who would uplift him instead of dragging him down with her problems. I knew that better than anyone.