Uncontrollable Feeling

Chapter 44

Kristal Anderson

“Kris-” I refused to allow her to take up much more of my time, I refused to allow her to feed me more lies. Every ounce of trust I had for the woman I once considered my guardian angel shattered right before our very eyes. There was nothing either of us could do about it, nothing we could do to stop it, to fix it. The damage caused by the gut-wrenching pain that I felt in that very moment was irreversible. 

“Don't.” The pure venom that was laced in my voice cemented the complete tonal shift in our relationship, never would I ever even thought about raising my voice at the woman who raised me. “Don’t you open your mouth if you’re gonna continue to feed me lies,”

“What are you tal-”

I was right in front of her before she could get another word in, she nearly flinched back at my sudden movement. The look in her eyes told me everything I needed to know; she knew she was fucked.

“How could you?” That was all I could get out. So many thoughts were running through my mind, so many emotions that I couldn’t decide what to focus on first. Everything had been a lie, all these years I was living with a blindfold over my eyes. A blindfold that she strategically put over my eyes. “You. . .tricked me, y-you played with my emotions, you made me fear my own father a-all for the sake of money?” I already knew the answer but maybe saying it out loud would help my brain progress everything.

It didn't.

“I don’t know what you heard Kristal but I can assure you that it's not what you think, your father is a dangerous man and you know it or must I remind you of the bloody living room you walked into that day? Must I remind you who caused that bloody scene?” The rate at which my confidence left my body nearly gave me whiplash, with just a few words she was able to make me reconsider everything I thought I knew once again.

With just a few words she got me questioning what I was doing here in the first place, why I was arguing with the woman who sacrificed so much for me, why I was feeling sympathy for my father; the man I found lying on the floor beside my mother’s lifeless body with a gun in his hand. 

How could that man be innocent? 

. . .

Only when her manicured hand reached in to cup my cheek did I realise that I’d been staring at the floor, she knew that she had struck a nerve. She could see right through me she knew that suddenly I wasn’t so sure of myself, “Tell me what you heard, and I’ll explain everything because I can assure you that it’s not what you think. Kris, I’m not the bad guy here,” 

My first instinct was to lean into her touch, listen to her like I always did, allow her to calm my worries with her lies, and allow her to create a new layer to the illusion. But her last sentence pulled me right out of the trance. 

Now everyone was the bad guy until proven otherwise.

My hand wrapped around her wrist before pulling her hand away from my face, “It won’t work this time, now I'm going to figure out for myself who the bad guy is,” I dropped her wrist before turning on my heel and pacing towards the door, the sound of her hurried footsteps behind me didn’t stop me as I hurried down the hallway towards the stairs.

“Wh-what is that supposed to mean? Kristal you know that your father is close, he-”

“It means what it fucking means, I’m going to figure out the truth on my own. I’ll listen to whoever is willing to tell me the truth, I’ll get the fucking authorities involved, I’ll scream it to the fucking world if I have to,”