Leaving The Lights On

Chapter Thirty Five: Open Up

After that night. Lagi na kaming naka-tambay sa balkonahe. Jasmine never said sorry nor coming here. Kahit sa school hindi na siya gaanong lumalapit sa akin. Though kung gusto niyang humingi nang sorry papatawarin ko naman siya. I don't hate people, it's not nice na magtanim ka nang sama ng loob sa kapwa mo.

"Aren't you missed singing?" magaling na ang noo ko. I already took the missed quiz along with Jasmine, Cedric, and Raphael.

Medjo nga awkward iyun dahil kami lang apat nagquiz sa iisang room. But knowing Cedric na makwela Siya lang talaga naging stress reliever ko matapus na kami sa quiz namin.

"I rarely sing kung gusto ko lang o malungkot ako." Sagot ko naman sa tanong nito.

"I know, I hear you sing one time," he stated na ikinataas ng asking kilay. "Where? And when?"

My eyebrows ark wondering when did he heard me singing. "The first night you come here," agad akong napatango nang marinig at maalala kung kailan ito.

"So you heard me playing too," I said then we become silent. I know they heard me sing noong nagbonfire kami but no one knew except na siguro sa kaniya na alam na tumutugtug ako ng guitara. As always nasa balkonahe kami ngayon, it's already 11:59 pm kaninang 9pm ako natapus sa aking duty sa Cafe.

We agreed to chill here sa balkonahe sa kadahilanang pareho kaming hindi makatulog. He's busy on decorating things, and remember that series lights he decorated when I first arrived here? Iyun ang ginagamit niya ngayong decorations sa paligid nang railings ng balkonahe.

While arranging things ako naman naka-upo lang sa may gilid. He keeps on arranging at maya-maya pa bumalik siya sa kwarto niya dala ang dulo ng series lights. A moment later the whole balcony lights up. The vibe seems perfect kasi maraming stars ngayon at maliwanag ang sinag nang buwan.

“I never met your mom nor your dad,” he seems like intrigued with why seems like I don't introduced any of them sa kanila. So dahil medjo okay lang naman magshare and I fell liked it to share some of my story.

“My dad passed away way long years from now, and my mom, I never really know her since.” My lungkot kung saad.

“Oww I'm sorry,” umiiling akong napatingin dito at hilaw itong nginisihan. “Don’t be!”

“So hindi mo alam saan ang nanay mo ngayon? If it's okay na nagtanong ako, kung uncomfortable ka hindi na ako magtatanong.” Saad nito at umupo sa tabi ko.

Natawa naman ako rito at tinapik ito sa balikat. “No it's okay! Ang totoo niyan, I really don't want to find someone who's in the first place left. Like, marami silang reason and I don't somehow don't want to hear her reason.” Mahabang paliwanag ko rito.

“It most be hard having just one parent to relay on,” napatango ako sa sagot nito. “Yep! You know what, I found them so selfish lalo na sa nanay ko. Why do they fell in love yet they aren't committed, I didn't wished to be born. I don't wished my dad died poor. I don't wished that I'm alone!” garalgal kung saad.

Seems like my throat sour just by saying those words. “Like, I just needed to survive because I am alive. I never wished I've got no mother like my kindergarten classmates had. Ang unfair lang, naiingit ako but my dad puts a lot of effort even died just to kept me alive.” Halos tahimik lang itong nakikinig sa akin.

“Wala akong magagawa, he died as a faithful man that doesn't deserved to be hurt like that. I put a lot of hate against my mom but my dad don't want me to hate her, how good that man was.” Litanya ko pa.

This time I held back my words, cause I started to tear up. He then started to comfort me while I was about to cry.

“You know, when dad died, wala kaming pera para man lang sa paborito niyang bulaklak. He died poor,” iyak ko habang na aalala ang panahon noong nilalamayan ko siyang mag-isa.

I can't afford some flowers beside his coffin. Kasi na ubos ko na ang pera na inipon niya at ang ilang bigay noong mga taong naawa at nagbigay nang kunting tulong para sa kabaong niya. He even said before he died na kumutan nalang siyang ililibibg for some reason ang perang na ipon niya gusto niyang gamitin ko pangcollege.

It's tough remembering all that stuff. And I find it in this time, I find it more lighter than before na hindi ko siya mashare sa iba.

*Before that night*

Raphael's Point of View

After the class ay tumulong muna ako kay mama sa ihawan at pagliligpit after. Have some dinner at nilutuan din ni mama si Seah nang haponan bago asikasuhin si Rain ang bunso kung kapatid.

I was thinking of decorating the balcony tonight pagkatapus kung maghugas nang plato. Plano ko na e surprise si Seah mamaya if ever na tumambay siya maya sa balkonahe.

“Anong gagawin mo?” Tanong ni mama habang hinahalungkat ko ang box noong Christmas tree namin. Hinahanap ko na naman kasi ang series lights na ginamit kung pangdecorate noong una niyang dating.

“Nakita mo ba ang series lights mama?” Tanong ko pa habang busy pa rin sa paghahalungkat noong mga laman ng box.

“Hoi Raphael! Tigilan mo iyang tenant natin ah!” suway ni mama na ikinatigil ko sa kakahalughog sa gamit at napatingin dito.

“Anong gulo?” may halong pagtataka kung saad na napatingin kay mama na nakatingin din pala sa akin.

“Sinasabi ko lang. Pansin ko napapalapit ka na g'yan. Hindi mo or hindi namin alam sino at saan iyan nagmula, ayukong sa pamamahay ko pa mangyari ang kalaswaan.” May galit niyang saad na ikinakunot ko na talaga.

“Mama! Tenant natin iyan, tyaka classmate ko pa. Anong mga iniisip mo?” may galit ko nang tanong dahil sa masama na ang mga tumatakbo sa isip nito.

“Gusto lang kitang warningan. Pinapasok ko iyan kasi nangangailangan ng apartment at pati naman din tayo. Pero ayukong magkagusto ka lang sa ni hindi natin alam kung may pamilya ba!” Litanya nito na ikina-inis ko na. Buti nalang at nakita ko na ang hinahanap ko at nagbibingibingihan akong na paakyat sa kwarto ko at nagkulong.

I don't know what's with her this days. Parang nagiging negative na nanay ko sa hindi ko malamang dahilan.