That Valley Girl || Daryl Dixon

[ 023 ] Grief

"Dale could-- could get under your skin." Rick spoke.

It was the next day now, and we were having a funeral for Dale. My head pounded and I rubbed my eyes.

"He sure got under mine." Rick continued. "Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought. How he felt. That kind of honesty is rare. And brave."

We all stood in a circle around Dale's grave. I put my head down, feeling sick.

"Whenever I'd make a decision. I'd look at Dale. He'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it one time or another."

I looked at the orange leaves on the ground, remembering Dale's face.

Whenever he'd give me one of his life lessons, the look he had when I said something weird, his face when he was worried about me.

"I couldn't always read him, but he could read us. He saw people for who they were. He knew things about us-- the truth. Who we really are. In the end he was talking about losing our humanity. He said this group was broken." Rick looked around at us.

"The best way to honor him is to unbreak it. Set aside our differences and pull together. Stop feeling-- sorry for ourselves. And take control of our lives. Our safety, our future. We're not broken. We're gonna prove him wrong. From now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."

-

Winter was coming. We couldn't camp outside anymore. Rick had decided to talk to Hershel about us staying inside the house. To our surprise, he agreed with that.

"Gonna be tight. Fourteen people in one house." Rick realized after already asking Hershel.

But he didn't mind. "Don't worry about that." He said. "With the swamp hardening, the creek drying up."

"With fifty head of cattle on the property." Maggie added. "We might as well be ringing a damn dinner bell."

"She's right. We should've moved you in a long time ago." Hershel admitted.

"All right, let's move the vehicles near each of the doors, facing out toward the road." Rick instructed. "We'll build a lookout in the windmill, another in the barn loft. That should give us sight lines."

Rick told T-dog to take the perimeter around the house, keep track of where everyones going. He put him and Daryl on watch, double duty.

"I'll stock the basement with food and water,  enough that we can all survive there a few days if need be."

Everyone went their separate ways. Beth helped Lori carry some stuff inside, Glenn and Maggie went off somewhere, and Rick talked to Shane.

I figured I'd help move the cars like Rick said.

Lori and Andrea loaded boxes into the blue truck. I walked up next to Lori, who was putting one last box in the trunk.

"I'll move it." I said to her. She nodded.

I got in the blue truck, slamming the door harder than I intended. 

I turned the truck on, waiting for my signal to take off.

Just like I expected, I heard the trunk close. Somebody gave it a few pats, which was my sign to start driving. I pushed on the gas, driving where Rick had instructed. I looked in the rearview mirror to see people trailing behind me.

Once I had parked, I got out of the truck and started helping everyone move the boxes in. I helped Lori mostly, she couldn't do a lot of heavy lifting while pregnant.

After I had helped Lori, I put what I had-- which wasn't much-- in the corner of the house I was taking. 

I was gonna move the R.V. now. Dale's R.V.

I sighed, trying to get the car to start. I'd done everything Dale told me to do when it was having trouble starting, but it didn't work. I laid back in the seat, defeated. I looked out the window to see Glenn approaching.

"Reagan." He raised a hand to wave. "Hey, did you try pumping the gas pedal?"

"It's probably been parked for too long." I responded, still trying to start the car.

"You gotta tap it three times--"

"And give her a twist, I know." I interrupted Glenn, remembering what Dale had taught me.

"Let me see." Glenn put a hand on the car now. I took the keys out. Glenn opened the front thing-- I forgot what it was called-- as I climbed out of the seat. I hopped out of the R.V, grabbing Dale's tools on my way out.

I shut the door, walking towards Glenn.

"Uh, Dale-- told me that in these old vehicles, the points get corroded." He explained.

"Screwdriver?" I offered, pulling the tool out and handing it to Glenn.

"Flathead." He corrected. I put the screwdriver back, pulling out a flathead and giving that to him instead.

I held back tears as Glenn tried to get the R.V working. I looked down at Dale's red toolbox, sighing. 

"Could you hand me a file?" Glenn asked. I handed him the tool.

He worked on the car some more. I dug into the dirt with my shoe as I waited.

"I let him down." He suddenly said, stopping what he was doing.

I looked at him confused. "Glenn, don't say that. He was proud of you."

Glenn sighed. I thought of what else to say.

"Maybe... not in that moment." I sighed. "But overall. He was proud."

"I feel bad too." I continued. "I didn't have his back either. We both have our regrets. But-- I know that he knew how much we cared for him."

Glenn let out a soft cry. He brought an arm up to his eyes, wiping away his tears. He closed the radiator and sniffled.

"That might do it."

He walked towards the R.V door, going to test if it worked.

"Glenn." I stopped him. He turned around and I threw him the keys. He caught them and walked inside the R.V.

I followed him, holding Dale's red toolbox with both hands now.

We walking into the R.V and I closed the door behind me and sat down. Glenn sat in the drivers seat, putting the keys in and turning on the car.

"Let's hope it works." I said as Glenn started the car.

The engine didn't make that sputtering noise now. Glenn did it.

We laughed as Glenn put his hands on the wheel and stepped on the gas, driving us towards the white farmhouse.