In This Darkness

Different Fears

(Vanessas pov)

As I sat tied to the chair like that, all I could think about in the dark was Bill and how much I needed him right now. The thought brought tears to my eyes and I don't want to think about what will happen to us in the future, but I just want him to give him a big hug, and for him to forgive me for treating him so badly, for fucking Claudia.In my broken eyes, now I want to look at Bill, he is the only one who can mend my heart in our warm embrace, while he runs his finger through my hair.My heart just needs him and a piece of him, my heart will get better, but I turned out to be a stupid jerk and ended up alone, and I broke my own heart, because I didn't protect it and I didn't give all my love to the people who care about me. Now I should suffer because I hurt others.I simply deserved to suffer because I hurt Bill, who I know cares the most about me.

While I was sitting like that in my thoughts, pale and weak, the door to the room finally opened and the light came on in the room and it was Claudia.Seeing her, I frowned, and she slowly closed the door and walked towards me saying quietly "Hello" I looked away from her, I didn't have the strength to look at her anymore, I looked away annoyed and broken.I don't need her, what the hell is coming here now.She stopped about a meter away from me, and I then looked at her. She looked sad and tired, and I angrily told her, "What the hell do you want from me?" and I tried not to shed tears.She tilted her head and started saying "Vanessa, you have to listen to me.." I didn't let her finish and shouted at her "I don't want to listen to your damn voice, lying whore." You better not explain anything to me, I won't understand you, what you did it to me, you did it, I'm not getting over it!"She ran to me and squatted in front of me, putting her hands on my knees and saying now through tears "Vanessa, I want you, I would never hurt you arbitrarily, I have no other choice, I would lose my life if I didn't do this task from the boss."I looked away from her, while my tears were flowing as much as hers. My ear hurts, she did what she did, she hurt me willingly or not, I have Bill, who I'm sure wouldn't do that to me.I looked at her slowly, while my tears were falling on her hands, and my eyes were wet. She looked as exhausted and broken as I was. She squeezed my knees, and then through thick tears she said again, "Please Vanessa, understand me, a lot I love you, I just don't want to hurt you. When this is all over, you and I will get away from here to safety."Her eyes were red and melting with tears, she looked like she was talking realistically, they were real emotions. Bill or Claudia? This question was running through my mind, because maybe Claudia really does love me, I've never seen someone cry so much for me. I so wanted to kiss her now, but no, Bill is my protector, I definitely wanted him by my side, Claudia was working against me.

As much as I liked Claudia and as convincing as she sounded now, I know what is right and what I should do. I looked at her through tears, while she choked under the wave of her tears." No Claudia. You should have thought about it before, but now I don't care about anything. I have my real protector, the person that your boss wants to destroy, but he won't, because he is always the winner. He will come and save me from you fellows."She looked down, taking her hands off my knees, and tears covered her face, her mascara was floating through small streams of tears.She looked at me and nodded, slowly getting out of bed and standing up. "Oh ,Bill,Bill, I hope he takes good care of you, just the way I want you to." she said, pulling away from me and giving me a weak smile. She turned to the door and looked at me once more, and I was now trying to hold back the river of tears. She left the room broken, and I was left in the dark again.

(Loris pov)

While Tom took Bill to the room, I went to the bathroom to refresh my cramped body with cold water.When I showered, I put on the clothes I sleep in, I brushed my teeth, and then I stood in front of the mirror and looked at my reflection.I closed my eyes and said quietly, "I am begging you, my Lord, Jesus Christ, that my Vanessa will be fine and that we will find her alive and well. Amen." I opened my eyes again and looked back at my reflection and sighed deeply, then headed towards Tom's and my room.I entered the room, and it was too cold in the room. Closing the door, I saw the open window and Tom leaning against it, smoking a cigar and looking towards me.He was looking at me pale and kind of sad, and I slowly started to approach him and I asked him confused "Tom?" He looked at me again, and his eyes were full of tears and one tear slid down his face.I quickly walked up to him and stood in front of him, asking him again in confusion, "Tom, what's wrong?"He looked from the side and began to shake his head, while his tears began to fall."Tom, look at me and tell me what's wrong." I said now more seriously.He looked at me and then moved from the window and spread his broad shoulders in front of my little body and said, "I'm just scared Lori. You see what happens, every day some new shit, I'm just scared.. I'm scared I'm gonna lose you one day.I'm afraid that maybe one day I won't be able to protect yo. I'm afraid that I'll die and I won't be there with you."he said, looking down at me, through heavy tears. I came closer to him and said "Tom, we have been through so much shit together, I believe that we will go through a hundred more, but we will always remain together, we will never be separated."He looked at me and said again "Yes Lori, you're right, but I'm still leading you through all this shit. You would be living a normal life with your family now, but you have me, stupid Tom Kaulitz, whom everyone knows only as a murderer and a rapist.I am kidnapped you and stole you just for myself. I wanted you just for myself, to be there forever, to keep you like the apple of my eye."I watched him break down before me as he said this and he continued saying "I hurt you so many times, because I enjoyed it, but I always loved you with all my heart. I never wanted to show my weak side after Maddy, I wanted everyone knows me as the most dangerous man in LA, but you came into my life and taught me that I should show my weaker side, that it's not a shame. I didn't know how to show my love in a normal way, but only through torture , and other shit, but now I know how to do it, because you showed me."

Tears covered my face, I couldn't help but cry at his heavy words. I approached him and pressed my lips to his, while he held me tightly by the waist.I removed my lips from his and looked at him and he started to say "I'm sorry..", and I interrupted him "Tom shut up. I only have you and I will always try not to lose you." I returned my lips to his, while a smile spread across his face. He lifted me up and threw me on the bed. He lay down next to me and we aligned our bodies against each other under the duvet.We looked at each other, while a tear rolled down Tom's face and he smiled widely, and I came to his chest and snuggled up to him, as I usually do.

(Toms pov)

While she was warming my body, tears were streaming down my face, I dont know why. I've been thinking about giving up for a couple of days now. I don't want people to know me as the most dangerous man in town anymore, I just want Laurie and I to live normally. I want to give up this life I've had so far, I want Lori and I to go far away from here, maybe go back to Germany and start a life there. There I will create a family and live without stress, together with Lori. I just need to tell that to the other members of Tokio Hotel.

(Bills pov)

I didn't close my eyes the whole night. I was walking around the dark room and lying in bed for a while. I just want Vanessa to be okay and that nothing happened to her. No matter how strange she was these days, I want to see her right now and kiss her roughly.