In This Darkness

The Story Behind Maddy

(Lori's pov)

Gustav slept in Tom's house for two nights, until Bill and Georg arrived. I spent those two days just sleeping, eating and not talking to Tom.He called me to play cards with him and Gustavo, but I didn't want to, he made me kiss him, I didn't want to. He grabbed me to kiss me, to cheer me up, but I didn't want to talk to him, I just slept and cried.The night before Bill and Georg were to return, Tom and I had a little chat. Gustav went to sleep, and Tom went back to the room. I was lying in bed, but I wasn't asleep. He took off his shirt and lay down next to me, he wrapped his arms around me, and I roughly pushed his heavy hands away. He was annoyed that I was doing that, so he grabbed my shoulder and turned me towards him."What the fuck is wrong with you?"he asked somewhat angrily, because we had no communication at all since he raped Maria, and it had been going on for two days. "What's wrong with me?! You're still asking me," I told him and turned my back on him againWhen I turned around he grabbed my hair and said "Talk to me!"."I won't" I said calmly.He breathed angrily and held my hair a little longer, after which he let go of my hair and turned to the other side, with his back to me. It was cold that night, but I didn't care.

I got up in the morning, Tom was already up, and from the lower floor I could hear the laughter and talk of Tom and the other members of Tokio Hotel. Bill and George came back, finally.I brushed my teeth and put on some old Tom's pants, which he left on the drawer for me to wear today. They were jeans, they were very wide and had stripes on them. They were small for him now, he probably wore them when he was 15 or 16 years old. I also put on his old black T-shirt that he gave me.I went downstairs to say goodbye to Bill and Georg. The four of them were sitting in the dining room and I approached them. Gerog held out his hand to me, and Bill hugged me.Bill was similar to Tom, only Tom was somehow prettier and more handsome, and Bill had a better soul, I'm sure of that. Tom had a creepy smile, while Bill had a warm smile. Tom didn't even greet me, he just watched me carefully and followed my every move.I went to the living room and sat down there. I leaned my head on the couch and turned on the TV.I heard Tom tell Georg to go to the garage. After a few minutes, Bill appeared next to me. I looked at him and just smiled at him, and he asked me "How are you?" I raised my head from the couch and quietly answered "Well..good"To which Bill said. "I'm sorry you had to watch Maria...I mean die."I kept nodding my head, looking at my hands and crying a little. I looked into his eyes again and asked "How did Georg react to that?" while wiping away tears."I can admit he was broken, he loved Maria, he didn't want Tom to kill her, but he knew he couldn't stop him, so he told Tom to do it. It's not difficult for Tom, he's a monster." he answered with a tear in his eye.I could see that Bill is very broken, even though his brother is a monster, he loves him.There was dead silence between us for a few minutes, I looked at the TV and remembered Tom's letter from Maddy.I was very interested in who she was, what happened to her. I didn't want to ask Tom, but maybe I can ask Bill.

I looked at Bill and got up off the couch a little and asked "Bill can I ask you something?"He quickly looked at me and said "Sure, ask"I hesitated a little whether to ask him, but I did." I found a letter in Tom's drawer, from a certain Maddy, who is she?"Bill looked at me in surprise, he had a sad expression on his face, he looked away from me and started telling me about this mysterious girl."Maddy...she was a sweetheart, a sweet soul. Tom was as ready to die for her as she was for him..." Bill paused for a moment, and I listened carefully."She was two months older than him. They met at a party, and that's when she started coming to our place all the time. Since Tom and I used to live together.Tom and I were also in a gang back then, but Tom was good, he wasn't a monster like he is now, he didn't even want to kill people, that's all... They were so happy, Maddy and Tom. She had blonde hair, green eyes. He liked to comb her hair, that was his favorite, I remember.However, one day she disappeared, Maddy. She was kidnapped by a Mexican gang and brought to Mexico. She worked for them, and they tortured her. She secretly sent Tom letters, told her how she was, but once she stopped. By the way, she disappeared in March 2008.And then she didn't answer since August, that Mexican gang came here to LA, Tom looked for them and asked where Maddy was, and they told him they killed her.He killed everyone and one member of that gang. After that he was declared the most dangerous ganger in LA, because he killed the Mexican gang, and they were very dangerous, everyone in LA was afraid of them when they came. After that, Tom shut himself off, he didn't talk to anyone, Georg, Gustav and I did everything by ourselves, and that's when Maxim left us too. In 2009, Tom became what he is now. Until then, he had dreadlocks, and then he took them off and put on black braids, he stopped wearing baggy clothes, he only wore dark clothes, and he started wearing headbands around his head. He started killing people and doing all these bad things, so Tokio Hotel is now the most dangerous gang in LA because of that. Before Maddy he was normal, with Maddy he was abnormally happy and after her he became what he is now, a monster. He doesn't like to talk about her. Those Mexicans kidnapped her because they were just angry with Tom. Tom blames himself for her death.Maddy." Bill finished this story and told me everything I was interested in. When he told me everything in detail about Maddy and Tom, how much he had changed, how much he loved her, all the sadness gathered in his chest. I felt bad, Tom only loved Maddy, and some savages over there kidnapped her. I wanted to hug Tom, to give him a kiss. This story made me so sad, I felt so sorry for Tom, I wanted to comfort him, to cry in his room and to comfort him.

Tom and Georg entered the house and invited Bill to a game of cards, as well as Gustav who was already in the dining room drinking whiskey. "I'm going to play cards with them," said Bill and went to the dining room. I stayed on the couch, I started crying, after which I went upstairs to the toilet and cried.I felt sorry for Tom, now it was clear to me why he was what he was.I took a shower to freshen up a bit and went to my and Tom's room.I was waiting for Toma to come.Gustav went home, as did Georg and Bill. It was 11 in the morning, now it has already been 3 day when Maria died. I heard Tom asking me to come home and then he entered the room.I was sitting on the bed and when he collapsed he said "There you are" He said that dejectedly and started to leave the room again. He was dejected and angry with me for ignoring him.

When he started to leave again, I got up from the bed and told him "I know who Maddy is"my tears were gathering, my heart ached for him, I just wanted to be there to comfort him. When I told him this, one tear had to come out of my eye.This story about him and Maddy made me very sad. I felt sorry for him, as well as poor Maddy.