I'm Not Brave Anymore, Darling

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"i'm not brave anymore, darling. i'm all broken. they've broken me" - ernest hemingway



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After Christmas break, Freen was extremely pleased to realize that her once small family had grown exponentially thanks to Becky.

Araya and Sunny were so kind and welcoming, so much so that Freen, Becky, and the girls found themselves having dinner at their place at least four more times after the planned Christmas one.

By extension, Becky's siblings had become friends of Freen's and she even texted most of them on a regular basis.

As the small family of three resumed their regular routine, they realized it was now filled with more Becky and, by extension, more of her family, which no one could really complain about.

Freen liked to think that she was cruising now, unlike a few months ago when she was driving on somewhat treacherous terrain. That didn’t mean that bumps in the road didn’t occur.

Nita sometimes lashed out, and Emily occasionally resumed habits that Freen thought they overcame, but nonetheless the little family was doing alright.

On the first Wednesday back to school and work, Freen was back in her studio and in the midst of selling Taran a new piece when Irin entered her workplace (this time without Athita).

“Okay, Freen, you have to talk to me,” Irin said, cutting right to the chase.

“I’m with a client,” Freen said, not even looking in her friend’s direction.

“You’re with Taran. I’ve seen her like three times this week,” Irin said.

“She’s still a client,” Freen bit back, finally glaring at Irin who was standing close by with her arms crossed in an impatient stance.

“Please, don’t let me interrupt this,” Taran said, genuinely interested in the fight that had been brewing between her siblings’ partners.

The client woman plopped down onto the couch in Freen's studio and waited for the drama to unfold.

“What is so important that you couldn’t text me about?” Freen asked Irin.

“You’re treating me like I said something inexcusable,” Irin said, to which Freen scoffed.

“That’s rich, all things considered. I ice you out for offending me, but that’s not okay in your books. Yet one insult from a traumatized teen has you refusing to be in the same room as her, which is apparently completely justifiable.”

“ Oh my God, of course you’ve twisted this!” Irin said in exasperation.

“Can someone give me a bit more context please?” Taran asked from her place, receiving not so pleasant glares from the other two women in the room. “Nevermind.”

“I didn’t say that those girls weren’t yours to be mean. I said it to remind you of the truth,” Irin explained.

“You of all people should know that you don’t have to be biologically related to someone to love them as your own.”

“I know! But I’m talking legally, Freen. A day will come when their social worker has a new placement or their biological mom steps forward and I don’t want to see how that will affect you.”

Freen hesitated, unsure of how to respond to that major reality check.

Irin wasn’t wrong.

The girls weren’t her’s legally, which meant that they could be taken from her at any given moment.

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