And Then There Was You (FreenxBecky)

The Way it Stops and Starts

"sometimes i'm terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. the way it stops and starts" - edgar allan poe

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Shortly after the end of Nita's hockey season, the school year came to an end as well.

Becky returned to spending days at a time with Freen's family, and she started her own morning routines with the girls as Freen continued to go to her studio four times a week.

The mundanity of their lifestyle was welcomed, and it was easy to fall into. Before Freen or Becky could truly recognize it, they were acting like a family of four and were being considered as such by everyone in their friend/family group.

Despite Freen's fear that she was forcing Becky into a motherly role, Becky was quick to promise that she liked what they had going for them and was happy to fill those shoes as a second mother-figure to the girls.

Becky's help became even more impactful when Nita's panic attacks started coming closer and more intense in between.

Her walls were crumbling, which was good, but with those breakthroughs came intense episodes of fear that were triggered by all of her experienced trauma. And Nita had
a lot of trauma to work through.

Freen was well versed in talking the teen through her panic, but when she wasn’t around Becky was always ready to step up and take her place.

Despite those intense moments of emotion, there was a certain peace that settled over the house. Everyone was happy, and things were good.

For Araya and Sunny's 25th anniversary in July, Becky's parents decided to throw a large backyard barbeque. Close to thirty people were set to join in the celebration, something that Freen and Becky thought would be manageable; until it wasn’t.

“I don’t want to go,” Nita said as she sat on the couch across from Becky and Freen.

She crossed her arms and attempted to set her scowl, however, there was much less anger set behind it. Much rather, Freen was easily able to note the fear that clouded Nita's eyes.

“I know it’s a lot of people,” Becky started to say, only to have Nita interrupt her.

“You guys can take Emi. I don’t even like celebrating anything,” Nita argued before she clenched her fists.

Her hands were shaking already. It was clearly becoming harder for her to hide her emotions from the two older women.

“Let’s not worry about the barbeque for a minute,” Freen said, hoping to cut the panic attack off before it even had a chance to start.

The mom moved to sit next to Nita where she gently untangled her crossed arms and held to one of her shaking clenched fists.

“Deep breaths, na?” Freen said as she exaggerated her own breathing for Nita to copy.

“I’m fine,” Nita said despite the wobbling of her chin.

“I know you are. I just want us to slow down for a few seconds,” Freen said as she massaged Nita's clenched hand until it slowly opened. “Just hold my hand for a minute.”

Skillfully, Freen maneuvered Nita's hand so then the teen’s fingertips were rested over her pulse point on her wrist.

When Nita sensed the spot, she pressed her fingers down a bit to feel Freen's pulse, effectively easing some of her shakiness.

“There we go,” Freen whispered as she used her other hand to squeeze Nita's knee.

Pressure and focal points were great ways to get Nita down from a panic attack, and this time it helped prevent one altogether.