Destiny ~ Dean Winchester (love story), part two

10

×Angie POV×

Fuck.

It was the only word in my mind, repeating itself over and over and over because the pain in my head didn't let anything else through for now.

I didn't dare to move, didn't dare to open my eyes as I just silently prayed to fall asleep again.

Falling asleep was never my problem.
Waking up was.

Then, the pounding got less.
Like someone had been doing construction work in the inside of my brain and now they switched tools, using something that was going a bit easier on me.

I realized that this state I woke up in wasn't the result of one of my usual nightmares but actually the aftermath of tequila night.

All the pictures came back to me, ending on Dean Winchester.

I had actually tried to blow him.
He must think that I have lost my mind. Maybe I did.

What the actual fuck was wrong with me? Justin and I weren't exclusive but still I couldn't just choose the brother of my one true love who had died and I felt like this couldn't get worse untzil I saw my arms.

Ever since I lost my memory, I scratched myself while I was asleep. Sometimes it was only a bit and other nights I caused myself serious injuries which of course healed fast but that didn't make the blood under my fingernails or on the sheets disappear.
It didn't make that problem any less real.

The longest I've gone without any unconscious self harm were two weeks. But even when I was spared for a few days, it always came back and I couldn't figure out why, couldn't find a pattern or identify a possible trigger.
It was driving me crazy.

Only thing I knew for sure was: Something was very clearly chasing me in my dreams and I wasn't gullible enough to ignore that kind of warning. It was wanting me, making me hurt myself.

That feeling, that smell of dried blood was familiar to me my whole life as a hunter but doing it to myself without even knowing about it, without being able to stop.. I was defenseless and vulnerable, which was also the reason I wouldn't tell anyone.
Not even Justin or Keza.

I'd be lying if I said I was taking that well, that I was coping healthily. Those nightmares I didn't even remember made me paranoid, it made me drink more than I should just to have enough courage to sleep because at this point if I could just stay awake I would- or if someone could distract me.

Like Dean.

I didn't have to be a psychic to know that this whole tough Hunter image had to be just one side of him. He proved that he cared two times in the matter of twenty-four hours and it wasn't what I had expected at all.

Usually, I had to fight for trust more than any other person because of what I was and he just almost gave his life. Unconditionally.
And I couldn't deny that his behavior scared the shit out of me.

But that couldn't all be based on our previous relationship, could it?
How close could we have possibly gotten in the matter of months, especially if I had a boyfriend later on?

It had to be something related to his dead brother.
Maybe they got into a fight and Dean owed him something.

I forced myself to get up in order to get some water into my body. I felt like I could drink a whole lake. My skin was tight and my throat itchy.