doppelgänger

five💙

(present day, one month later)

In the dark room, under the covers of Soyeon's bed, Yuqi hugged Soyeon from the side, snuggling into her body.

"Yuqi.."

"Hmm?"

"What.. what are you doing?"

"Hugging you."

Soyeon shifted a bit, leaning into Yuqi. "It feels weird."

Yuqi traced her hand along Soyeon's torso. "Weird how?"

Soyeon swallowed, opening her eyes and looking into the dark. "It feels nice. You aren't..."

Aren't what? Yuqi wanted to ask, deeply curious of what trauma Soyeon had and how she could help her through it. But she didn't, knowing that Soojin would give her a week ban from their apartment if she brought up any sensitive topics with Soyeon. Oh, fuck that..

"I'm not what?" Yuqi murmured, close to Soyeon's ear.

When she didn't get a response, only met with more silence, she tried to fall back asleep spooning Soyeon and giving her silent support.

~

(present day, four months later)

Soyeon hadn't seen the (what Soojin calls) "bad" Yuqi in a while. Not since the (what Soojin calls) "good" Yuqi had been sleeping in her room every night. It was silly and she didn't understand why Soojin called Yuqi "bad" and "good" since they were the same person, no? Anyways, Soyeon thought Yuqi'd be bothersome being in her room all the time given her loud nature, but she thinks it's peaceful. Alongside the "bad" Yuqi, she also hasn't seen Soojin. Soyeon is worried about her friend.

But she forgets about that when she leans over the counter to smell what Yuqi's been cooking. "When can I eat it?"

Yuqi glanced up from mixing the tomatoes to make sure they didn't burn against the bottom of the pan. "I just started," she chuckled, "are you hungry?"

Soyeon just walked around the kitchen counter to stand behind Yuqi.

"What are you–" Yuqi's sentence was cut short as her stomach was squeezed forcibly from behind. She coughed in surprise, stumbling a little. "Soyeon??"

Soyeon smiled from behind her, keeping her grip. "Huh? Don't you like it?"

Yuqi struggled to inhale. "Uh- well- less tight..."

Soyeon released most of her grip, arms still wrapped around Yuqi. "Like this?"

"Yeah," Yuqi's breath hitched a little when she noticed that Soyeon had openly hugged her. She never does that without some sort of 'you told me to do this' or, 'I'm scared'. Yuqi felt a warm flicker in her chest, draping her arms against Soyeon's on her torso.

The moment didn't last long, as Yuqi smelled smoke. "Fu–!!" She shook her head, cutting herself off as she remembered not to curse in front of Soyeon. She maneuvered around the kitchen, grabbing the fire extinguisher and putting out the small fire, all while Soyeon clung to her.

Yuqi sighed and began to cut more tomatoes for their dinner, brushing off any negativity as she started again.

"When's Soojin coming back? I..I um..," Soyeon fiddled with the buttons on Yuqi's shirt nervously. Yuqi waited patiently for her to answer, never going to rush her. She just moved slowly around the kitchen while Soyeon hugged her the whole time, careful not to cut her on accident or move too fast.

She broke long, uncooked noodles in half and placed them gently into the pot of boiling water. She then put a top on the tomatoes after adding water, allowing them to simmer. That's when she noticed Soyeon fall to the floor.

The older fell, not sideways, but straight down, landing on her butt safely. Yuqi immediately crouched down with her, heart beating and desperately trying to remember the section in Soojin's 'Guidebook to Soyeon' notebook that explains how to deal with whatever must be happening with her.

Soyeon's breath wasn't coming anymore, which panicked Yuqi even further but she begged herself to stay calm. She placed a hand on Soyeon's chest, confirming that she wasn't breathing. "Soyeon," She said clearly.

Soyeon looked at her and tilted her head to the side innocently.

"You need to breathe. Follow me, right?" Yuqi took a deep breath, making sure that Soyeon was following. She exhaled, Soyeon's breath hitting her arm. "Good, good, you're so smart," Yuqi praised, continuing to breathe in and out with her on the floor.

Soyeon stared blankly at Yuqi, expressionless. "I miss her."

Something unfamiliar clenched around Yuqi's heart. Does she mean Soojin? Or— "Who do you miss?" she decided to ask.

"Yuqi."

"But.. I-I'm right here.." Yuqi pursed her lips anxiously.

Soyeon sighed. "You changed somehow, you don't make me.. feel good anymore."

No.. "Soyeon.. You know that.. that other Yuqi wants to hurt you, right?"

"Hurt me?" Tears began to fill Soyeon's eyes. "No, she's nice, she's you."

"She's not me, she's someone in your head, you've made her up, and it's not really her, it's your—"

"Bullshit!" Soyeon shoved off Yuqi's hand on her knee, standing up. "Then how come you 'two' are never in the same room together? There's only one."

"But I'd never hurt you.. She puts cuts all over your body an-and rapes you, and—"

The door of the apartment was open and Soyeon was walking away before Yuqi could finish. She followed Soyeon, head beginning to hurt. She wished that they had the money to get Soyeon the help she needs. When she had given Soojin that money all those months ago, that was money she had stolen from her parents, and now she didn't have any left.

Yuqi's heart raced as she pressed on the elevator again and again, finally getting one and heading to the lobby. She just knew that Soyeon would try to go somewhere. Either of three options: to find Soojin, to hang out with the "bad" Yuqi, or.. no, she couldn't think about the third option.

So she needed to get to her. Quickly.