Miss Not Perfectly Fine

GUTS

September. This is the month. I am going to make it my month. I am finally going to regain control of myself and start losing weight again.

Tonight was an exception though. I was going to make tonight a cheat day. It's September 7, the day we've all been waiting for.

"Happy almost GUTS release day!" I screamed and flung myself into Olivia's arms as soon as she opened her door.

The world was finally going to get to listen to Olivia's sophomore album soon, and she had invited Taylor, Gracie, Selena, Madison, Conan, and I to her apartment for a small release party. Tonight was her night. The last thing I wanted to do was take the attention away from her because of my eating habits.

"Here, I made friendship bracelets for everyone," I pulled my bracelets off and laid them out on the kitchen island for everyone to choose from. Everyone else had already gotten here a few hours ago. Unfortunately, I had to finish a couple of assignments that were due at 11:59pm tonight before I came here.

"These are so cute," Olivia excitedly looked through all of them before choosing the love is embarrassing bracelet.

"I baked GUTS themed cake if you want some," Taylor offered from the other side of the island.

"Yes please!" I, for the first time in a long time, willingly accepted the slice of cake. I regretted it as soon as I said it but there was no taking it back now. All I could feel was guilt.

This is why you're fat.

My voice echoed in my head as I took the cake from Taylor. As much as I felt guilty, I had to eat it now. It would be weird if I asked for it and never touched it.

You're making up excuses for yourself again.

My brain reminded me. However, I pushed my thoughts aside and ate a bite.

"You should really open up a bakery," I told Taylor as I took another bite.

"People would eat that up," Conan agreed.

"How much longer until your album is out?" I asked Olivia. She picked her phone up to check.

"20 more minutes!" She did a little dance as she squealed.

"Can I go live while we wait?" I asked everyone.

"Yes! I was just about to suggest that!" Liv came and sat next to me on the couch, where I was now sat. She propped her phone up on the table that was right in front of us and went on Instagram. "Do you guys wanna be in it too?" She looked to the other five who were standing up to get some food that Selena had brought.

"We'll pop in when we feel like it," Gracie said and everyone else nodded.

"You ready?" Olivia looked at me and waited for me to nod before starting the live. Immediately, people started to hop on and comment. Not even 30 seconds later, there were already 500 people watching the live. I suddenly felt nervous and self conscious but I plastered on a smile to cover up the feeling of fear.

"Hey everyone!" Olivia waved. I guess she realized that I was frozen in my seat because she subtly reached for my hand and pulled me closer to her. "I'm here with Sky right now and we are currently trying to pass time until 12am." She explained. I waved as well when she said my name, grateful for how smooth she made this whole interaction.

"Hey guys," I smiled and took a bite of my cake. I was about halfway done with my cake. Taylor gave me a huge slice. I leaned forward to read the comments and immediately regretted doing so.

OMG SKYLAR
skylivia stans rise
wtf is sk*lar doing there
sky looks so healthy now🥹
I love you Olivia!
IM SO EXCITED FOR GUTS
what's your fave song on guts?