NONKULULEKO

15

NONKULULEKO
#15

Time of death. Those words stuck to my head. The realization of what I had done, of how far I had taken things hit me. Gogo was unconscious for two hours before she woke up. She thought she was dreaming when she heard that her son died, but it wasn’t a dream. Mahlase was really gone. I didn’t know how to feel. Not a single tear had dropped from my eyes. I tried forcing them but they didn’t just come out. I tried to be sad over his death but it just wasn’t happening. If anything,  I was happy. Glad that it happened quicker. Let’s be honest, dad wasn’t a saint.

Whenever I think about him I just think about the time he hit me with his belt until I blacked out, the times where he kept quiet when gogo or Nandi abused me. He wasn’t a good father to me. Maybe his way of parenting would change when he got to the other side.

Relatives and other family members were called and told of the darkness that had befall the Sibisi family. Nearby cousins and neighbors came to the house to offer their condolences and gogo was already sitting on the mattress on the floor. It was a dark time for the family. Everyone spoke fondly of my father, about how much of a good man he was. Sadly I could not relate. All I remembered about him was his cruelty.

The whole week we were preparing for the funeral. Gogo was distraught. Shame! Poor thing! I still hadn't cried. His funeral was dignified and memorable. He had a perfect send off. Even Nandi was present. They asked me to speak on behalf of his children. I said no! I lied and said I was not mentally fit to stand in front of people and talk about him, that I was still too heartbroken.
Gogo understood and said it was okay. When the funeral was over, people left one by one and only a few members remained.

“Gabi told me that she beat her classmates and that they had to be admitted at the hospital”, they were definitely talking about me. I didn’t know who they were, many relatives were present.
“Exactly, and her killing animals! This child is evil I tell you. Did you see how she looked at her father when we viewed the body?”
“Hate was written all over her face. I just want to get out of here. She makes me uncomfortable.”

I cleared my throat and got inside the room. They stopped talking and pretended like they were busy with the dishes. I took a cup and drank water.

**
I was at the police station. I was called over regarding the case. The detective handling it wanted to ask me questions and get the whole story before she could go ahead with everything. It was a woman, it was nice to see a woman dominating in that kind of field. She was Detective Kay, yep she was white.

She took me to an interrogation room with a recorder and a clipboard on her. I could see her colleagues behind the glass window.
“So let’s get started. I want you to narrate to me the events as they happened. I know it’s going to be hard but we need every kind of detail, even the one you might think is not important.”
I nodded and placed my hands on the wooden table.
“It was last year, 25 July. I was meeting with Mfundo to talk about stuff that we usually talked about
We were not dating, he was my friend, or so I thought. We usually met outside but that particular day, he told me to come with him to his friend’s house. I trusted him so I followed him. When we got to his friend’s room, he treated me nicely. He brought me chips and juice. I saw nothing wrong. Things got heated when he started to touch me on my breasts and massage them. He tried to kiss me but I stopped him. He told me that he was done waiting for me, and that he wants to make me feel special. Like a woman. I tried getting off him but he manipulated me, threatening that he would stop talking to me. I allowed it and kissed him but when he took off my clothes that’s when I decided that I didn’t want to do this..I told him to stop and that I wanted to go home, but his eyes were blood red and he looked like he was in pain. He pinned me down on the bed and then he…..can I have a tissue”

She gave me the tissue and I wiped my tears.
“He forced himself on me. I was powerless. I tried fighting  him but he was too strong for me. He didn’t use protection. He just kept going and going. Not even my tears and pleas got to him. He did as he wished. When he was done, he left me there and didn’t say anything. I picked myself up and went back home. I didn’t tell anyone what happened because they wouldn’t believe me. We then moved to Gogo’s house and she was the one who noticed I was pregnant. As per our tradition, we went to Mfundo’s home to report the pregnancy but he denied it. Even his family agreed with him. They insulted me. I still hadn’t told my family what Mfundo did to me. Gogo was disappointed that we walked for nothing. Mfundo asked to speak to me on the side, and that’s when he threatened me to  have an abortion. I was just a clueless, scared 15 year old! I listened to him and aborted my baby. My first child! But it didn’t go right, they gave me the wrong pill and it resulted in my uterus being damaged. My family doesn’t know this because I didn’t know how to tell them. I just lost my father to cancer and I’m trying to pick up the pieces. But I can’t forget about what Mfundo did to me. Please get me justice”

The table was filled with drops of my tears. I asked to go to the bathroom. I peed and washed my hands. I looked at myself in the mirror and sighed. There was a cry for help in my eyes that no one saw.
I pulled the either ends of my mouth into a smile, like Joker from DC comics. I laughed and punched the mirror.
“Ohhh man!!!”I said that and went back to the room but I just had to standby and listen if they bought my story.

“So what do you think, detective?”
“I’ll tell you one thing. She’s a pathological liar.But let’s bring this boy in for some questioning”

Mhh! Detective Kay! I shook my head silently.
.
.
To be continued