NONKULULEKO

#04

NONKULULEKO
#04

The light shining inside the room caused my eyes to open. That’s when I woke up. My body felt stiff and sore. I looked around me and I could tell I was at the hospital, there were other patients near me and they were asleep. I only remembered that my dad hit me with his belt. I didn’t know who had brought me to the hospital. Maybe it was him! He almost killed me. If I didn’t collapse, he would have killed me. His own daughter! Could a man have so much hate? That he would beat his daughter almost to death? Wasn’t I his precious princess no more? Did I not matter any more to him?

A white man wearing a white coat entered the ward. He had something like a clipboard in his hands. He stood next to me and smiled. It was the first in so many months, seeing someone smile at me.
“I am your doctor, Thabo. How are you feeling?'' He seemed friendly but I knew better than to trust people. Dad had changed and he was sweet so I did not want to allow myself to be comfortable and snug around the doctor. Maybe he was sent by Nandi to finish me off. The woman hated me and I knew nothing would have pleased her more than seeing me dead.
“You have been out for eight hours. You looked like you enjoyed the rest. You need to go to x-ray so we can inspect your wounds.”
He touched my ankle and I flinched. It hurt. He looked at me worried and asked me what was wrong, I told him I knocked over a toy by accident. After some time, dad and his wife came to see me. Instantaneous trepidation overcame me. I felt uncomfortable on the bed and I wanted to get out the window. Just to run from them. I was scared of them. Never had I thought there would be a time where I was scared of my father, but at that moment, I wanted to stow away.

Nandi looked clean that day. Thankfully. She stood right next to me. Her presence terrified me to pieces. I was shaking with anxiety and fear. I did not know what she would do to me.
They closed the curtain, separating me from other patients. She looked at me directly in the eye and demanded to know what I had told the doctors. I knew exactly what she was asking. She was asking if I had told the doctors that I was being abused at home.

I shook my head no and she seemed allayed.
She further said I must keep my mouth shut or I would get what I deserve should I tell the doctors what was happening.
“I need time with my patient. Please wait outside,"the doctor came back and they went out.
Thabo, as he introduced himself, dragged the chair and sat next to me and asked, “Are you being abused at home?”
The question took me by surprise. I remembered Nandi’s words and shook my head no, I lied and said I was not abused. Thabo asked me repeatedly and even threatened that he would call the police but I stood firm on my word that I was not abused. I was 16, confused and scared. Nandi’s threats worried me more than the police. I just wanted to get out of the hospital. Thabo kept asking too many questions and I didn’t give him any answers.

Dad told me a day later that they were letting me go. And I was going back home with them. It was still nice to get away from the cleaning, cooking and slaving around. It was time to get back to my reality. The moment we arrived home, my spirit went down. My fears came back.
I was taken to the bedroom and surprisingly, dad opened the covers for me and tucked me in. Did he have a change of heart? Or was he feeling guilty for beating me to unconsciousness?
“Have some rest. I will bring you something to eat," he said with the kindest and sweetest voice. He made me remember him as the man I knew before we moved to step-mother’s house. He went out and came back with my food. Who cooked?
I took one bite and looked at him. “Why dad?”I asked him with tears threatening to come out.

“You are still young Nonkululeko. You don’t understand how the world works. It’s not as you think”

“But I am your daughter. Why do you allow her to abuse me like this? You almost killed me”

“You won’t understand. Now eat and get some rest.”

He left me with more unanswered questions. I didn’t know what he meant by I wouldn’t understand. I just needed to know whether changed him. And why gogo pretended like she didn’t even know me. Is that how the whole Sibisi family felt about me? Did everyone hate me? What was my crime? I wished to know whom I wronged so I could apologize. Maybe things would get better and they would change their ways.

A week later, my bruises were dying down and my body was healing. The medication they gave me at the hospital also helped. Nandi was also off my back during that time. I enjoyed the silence I was getting from her. I hadn’t had that  much peace in a while. I longed for things to remain like that.
A knock on the door frightened me, like I said, anything moving triggered me. I came back to my senses and went to answer the door. Only to find a man I didn’t know. He was dark and wearing a pink suit. Pink suit!? What was wrong with him? I was poor but I was sure I had better fashion sense than him.

“Is Nandi here?”he asked me, licking his lips and rubbing his hands together. I nodded and told him she was here.
Nandi came to the door and she stood still when she saw the man. She looked scared if I might say. She was nervous and I could see it. She pushed me outside and gave me R20.
“Go buy sweets. Come back after an hour” she hurried me to get out of the house.

I wasn’t allowed to get out of the yard so I used that opportunity.
“Ufunani la Celimpilo?(What are you doing here?” I heard her shouting at the man. I did not want to hear more so I ran out, running to the shops.

I found a boy buying and I waited for my turn. He finished and turned but he stopped next to me. He looked at me and sighed.  What was wrong with him? It was not enough that he was the most handsome boy I had seen but he was making me uncomfortable in a nice way.

“My name is Mfundo. Yours?”

“Nonkululeko”

I quickly replied without even thinking.
He smiled and he had the perfect smile. It made me forget about my problems a bit.
“You’re beautiful Nonku” when was the last time I had heard those words? Hearing someone say I was beautiful even with all the bruises I had? How did he pass all that? I did not think I was beautiful. Maybe he was just saying to nurse my feelings. That's what boys do. Nandi told me that they would compliment you and sell you dreams just to sleep with you, not that they love you.

“Hey”he snapped his fingers and I came back to the moment. I faked a smile and moved past him. I did not want to entertain him. I had so many problems than to add a boy on top of it.
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To be continued…
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