NONKULULEKO

23

NONKULULEKO
#23

I was still under the community's mercy. They wanted to kill me. They wanted to finish with me, there was nothing I could do to stop them. They decided my fate on my behalf.
Loud sirens approached and the people dispersed like flies being blown away. It was the police! They must have received reports from other people that there is a commotion happening.

Only a few members of the community remained. I recognized one of the police, it was Detective Kay, I haven't seen her in over three years. She looks grown and matured now. She stole a look at me and sighed.
"Mphakathi(community)," She tried to calm them down. Kay knows a little bit of IsiZulu.
"Detective, this girl killed her family. There's no way we can let her go"
"Do not take the law into your hands. We have arrived as the police"
That seemed to calm them down because they let me and Vuyo go. But of course, I was under arrest.

"Let's go, you need medical help," That was Kay lifting me up. As bloody and dirty as I was. An ambulance was called, and forensics for the bodies inside the house.

I woke up midday, I was in the hospital. When I looked down at my feet, they were cuffed, so were my hands. They strapped me down. I looked around for anyone who could provide me an explanation. I was in a private ward. My face felt numb, and I could barely see anything. That's how swollen it was. I peeped to my legs and the scars made me want to faint. They sure did a number on me.

I stared blankly at the clock on the wall. Until the door opened, and Vuyo got inside. My mouth instantly managed to form a smile. Vuyo! Seeing her always made me feel better. She had a special place in my heart.
"Hey," I greeted her.
She didn't look too happy to see me. She had a few bruises and a bandage around her arm.
She sat on the chair next to the bed.

"My parents are on their way to fetch me. You know Nonku, I really looked up to you. And I thought they were lying against you when they said you're a psychopath. Now I see they were right. You are not okay Nonkululeko, and you are a danger to the society. You're a menace. No mother would be comfortable leaving her children with you. I used to watch movies about people like you, I never thought I would come across one, let alone be friends with one. You showed me that the only thing that runs through your mind is vengeance and blood. I can't be friends with someone like that. The police asked me to tell them everything that happened and I didn't leave anything out."

She took a deep breath and continued. Her words were hurting me. No one ever managed to soften my heart the way she did. We had such a deep connection that I don't understand.

"I get that you were not treated fairly throughout your teenage years and I really sympathize with you, believe me. But, there is a line we don't cross as humans Nonku. God is the only one who decides to take His people, it's not up to us to decide who lives and who dies. The way you murdered your family makes me scared to even be near you. When we were at the psych, you used to throw out your pills. You used to be stubborn when it was time to get injections. You didn't want to get help. The only thing that was running through your mind was revenge. I tried to talk you out of it but you didn't listen to me. Doctor Brow even gave up with you, because you refused any sort of help. One thing I have noticed about you, you love acting like a victim. You know people will lfeel sorry for you, considering what you have been through. That's part of your mental illness. Being a manipulator, a pathological liar.
My advice, get real help this time. We know, there is no cure, but there are people living with it, because they acknowledged fact that they are not okay."

She is hurting me. Why is she saying all of these things? I was abused. I was just defending myself and avenging that little 15 year old me.

"I really hope you accept your illness Nonku. Otherwise you are heading straight to destruction. I don't want to come to your funeral, don't make me to. I have to leave now"

The door opened and a couple walked in.
"Vuyo, we have been looking for you. Come baby," must be her parents.
Her mother grabbed her and hugged her for dear life. The father kept on looking at me.
"Let's go," They walked out and I sighed.
Taking in everything Vuyo said. She is telling the truth, and it makes sense. I just wish things didn't have to get this far. I tried fighting this disorder, but it overpowered me. To a point that I allowed it to control me. I lost my sense of thinking. Vuyo is right about everything she said. I used to refuse medicine, I didn't want to get help. Yes those doctors were interested in studying the illness, but I didn't make things any easier for them.

I don't even know where to go to from here. Gogo is still alive, and I know she hates me wherever she is. Wow! I'm really crazy, I really hit an old person to almost death. Bad luck is coming my way. I hope she forgives me, wherever she is. As for me, I know what I have to do now. I should be locked away from other people. I don't deserve even a second chance. My illness will always come in the way, and until I find a way to deal with it, people will always be in danger when they are next to me. It will always hinder my level of thinking. I need help, I acknowledge that.

                       *********

Detective Kay came to pay me a visit the following day.
"How are you feeling?" She enquired, as she dragged the chair to sit down.
"Better than yesterday"
"I'm sorry."
I nodded.
"I know you're here to tell me that I am under arrest. I figured by all the strapping"
"Three bodies Nonkululeko, your grandmother is in ICU recovering. They  wants to prosecute you right away."
"It's okay. Time to hide and blackmail my way out of this is not there. I did it."
"Do you regret it?"
"I didn't at first, but now…. I don't know. My craziness comes and go. And I have to deal with the guilt after that."
"Maybe we can use your illness and vouch that you didn't know what you were doing"
"No…it's okay Kay. I need to own up to my crimes. I want to get help, I don't want to live like this anymore"
"Okay….. when your doctor gives us a go ahead that you're okay to be discharged, you will be taken to maximum security institution."
.
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To be continued