NONKULULEKO

21

NONKULULEKO
#21

Mhh Mfundo? Where do I start? First, he was released, the case didn't go anywhere. It didn't even reach court, it was said there wasn't enough evidence to rule out that he did r*pe me. And, I was just diagnosed with a mental illness, so even if the case made it to court, I don't think they would have taken my testimony serious. So… obviously people believed him when he said I asked him to sleep with me. At this point, I don't know which is which anymore. Maybe I did ask him to sleep with me, maybe I didn't. But still, he humiliated me in front of his family. He made me look like a loose girl and denied even knowing me.

Maybe, just maybe if he had shown support and acknowledged the baby, I wouldn't have done abortion. Maybe my uterus would still be intact, but he just had to do what boys do best. Be dogs! He is just the same as Nandi, gogo, dad, and everyone in my life.

Both of them are staring at me like they are seeing a ghost. Did they think I was dead!?
"Sit down. Join the reunion", I showed them the couch.
"So nice to see you Nandi", I pulled her cheeks and laughed. Oh man!
Nandi eyed Gogo and then looked at me.
"What have you done? Why are we all here?" She asked, terrified.
"This feels like Deja Vu, doesn't it, Nandi? I used to be the one scared of you, now you are scared of me. Do you think I will kill you? I won't do that, I'm the sweet little angel you were abusing five years ago. I'm powerless and under your mercy, I wouldn't dare touch you"
I caressed her cheek and she moved her head back.
Mfundo said, "You have taken your craziness to another level Nonkululeko. Why are we here!?"
"You can leave if you don't want to be here"
He clicked his tongue and stood up, he looked at me and walked away. He was about to reach the door when I threw the remote at him. He turned back to me, holding his hand.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife.
I pointed it at him aggressively,"no one is leaving here. Not until I have made you all feel the pain I have felt. Now sit your ass down or your death will be quicker"
He tried to take the knife from me but I stabbed his palm. He screamed like a girl, seeing all the blood coming out of his hand.
I pushed him back to the living room, to the couch.

"Now you're all going to listen to me. No one is leaving here alive, Vuyo is the only one walking out of this alive"
"Nonkululeko I…."
"Not another word Nandi!!" I closed my eyes and opened them again. Maybe I should have tied them up, yeah, that way no one would run away.
I told Vuyo to look for ropes or anything to strap them down.
Now they were being held "captive" with no way out. Perfect.

I looked at Nandi and said,"Just amuse me Nandi. Do you also feel sorry like Gogo?"
"Nonkululeko, I can explain all this. Me and your grandmother have been in contact ever since you went to the hospital"
"And what were you talking about?"
"You. I know me saying sorry won't erase all the things I  did to you"
"Let me guess…'I was just angry and took out my frustrations on you, I am deeply sorry.' That's what you are going to say, right?"
I looked at her and placed the knife down.

I paced up and down the room, thinking of what to do next.
"I will burn them..no no…let me butcher them…no that's a lot of work…let me bury them alive..no I will be caught…I want to torture them. Yes I will torture them until they take their last breath"
They were all looking at me, that shouldn't have spooked them. They already concluded that I was crazy so that shouldn't have surprised them. Did they think I was there to listen to their sob stories? I don't think so.

I took Mfundo’s phone and demanded the code from him. On his wallpaper, it was him holding a cute boy.
"This your son?" I asked, showing him the picture. He slowly nodded.
I wonder how old my child would be, would it be a girl or a boy? Maybe he or she would have brought spark and happiness in my crazy life.
I went to his apple music app, and searched for a song.

Back to black by Amy winehouse.
We only say goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to
I go back to us

The song drove me crazy. I connected it to the home speakers and played it out loud.
I sang along, smiling to myself and dancing around.

I saw Mfundo’s lips moving and I paused the song.
"What Mfundo?"
"Nonku I didn't r*pe you, and you know that too. You know deep within that you were the one who asked me to sleep with you. I don't know why you tarnished my reputation like that, lying against me about something so serious. I could have been sent to jail for years if you didn't go to that hospital. You know the truth, but continue lying to people. And I know you're angry about me denying the baby, but I was 18 and in Grade 12. I was a teenager just like you, I didn't want a baby, the first thing that came to my mind was to deny the baby. I'm sorry"

"Just shut up Mfundo!! You!! You told me that you loved me, that you would never leave me but you denied even knowing me. What was I supposed to do? I had to do something to make you regret messing with me!"

"So you thought telling people that I raped you was the best thing to do? I know you have a serious mental illness, but I believe you still have common sense. You know how serious r*pe is, and obviously people will believe you instantly when you mention it. So you used that to your advantage. I was wrong I admit, but you are not so innocent either. You like painting yourself to be the victim while you are the devil herself. You're very good at manipulation and lying, tears are an added bonus to get people to believe you. You even killed your teacher, because she saw right through you. And now, you gathered us all here to kill us, why? Because they abused you? So you can hide behind 'oh but I have a mental illness. I didn't know what I was doing' excuse? Go ahead Nonkululeko. Be the psychopath everyone says you are. Show them how crazy you are. Do it!"

I felt like my brains were about to burst, and my face was burning. I was breathing heavily. I resumed the song and found myself on top of him, stabbing him all over his body with the knife. I couldn't stop, I just kept on going. Amy's singing voice just fueled me to continue. Screaming with every stab that landed on his body. The amount of his blood that was on me wasn't enough to make me stop.

I felt a hand touching me and it was Vuyo.
"He's dead Nonks" I stood up with my lips quivering. I looked at his body and dropped the knife on the floor. I wiped my hands using his clothes. I untied him and moved his body to the side. The other hostages were shocked to the core.
"Oh God! What did we do to this child? It's our fault she's like this. Please forgive us Dear Lord!"Gogo prayed.

If you still think I can get help, then you have a problem. No one can help me. No medication or therapy can help me, maybe three years ago but not anymore.The best way to help me is to kill me. I'm tired. I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to be crazy, but I can't help it. It's who I am and I can't control it. I make impulsive decisions that I don't even regret. I have taken three lives already but I don't regret it even one bit. What kind of devil does that? They should just kill me. Because I will kill them. And I won't even regret it.

Vuyo looked scared and I regretted bringing her to this whole thing. She's innocent and kind, she shouldn't be seeing this. She's just 14 years old. How can I expose her to such cruelty?
"Are you okay?"She touched my arm.
"You're the best thing to ever happen in my life Vuyo. I love you like a sister I never had"
"I love you too, Nonks. You're the only one who didn't think I am crazy like my parents."
I smiled.
"Is your vengeance satisfied now?" She asked me.
"No. I have to finish this"

I left the room and went to look for a bat. Last I remember, there was a baseball bat here.
I found it and returned back to the room.
I turned up the volume as Back to Black played on repeat. I tapped  the bat in my hand smiling, looking at them. There was no turning back now.
Gogo shook her head, tears streaming down her face. I remember crying too, but she didn't stop. She beat me regardless. I moved my eyes to Nandi and she was swallowing nothing, she was terrified. I was too those years back!

The first blow landed on Nandi.
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.
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To be continued
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