NONKULULEKO

12

NONKULULEKO
#12

My dad once got extremely sick, I was 11 or 10 years old at that time, very young to understand what was happening. My mother didn't tell me what was wrong with him. He spent a month in the hospital and they had to shave his head, he was bald. I later found out that he was battling with cancer and he was being treated with chemotherapy at the hospital. There is no cure for cancer, the treatment was only to help him live. The scariest thing about cancer is that if it is found in its later stage, there is no chance for you and anything is a trigger.

The poison he got, got to his already weak immune system and woke the cancer. Now he had to start over the entire treatment process again, if possible. I tried to comfort him but he was just out of hope, he was convinced he was dying. He kept on apologizing, apologizing for what he did to me. Even gogo apologized for him, and herself. It was nice for them to learn from their mistakes, but I didn't know if my heart was ready to just accept their plain apologies. Maybe they needed to buy me flowers.

At school, they were still mourning the loss of Miss Ndaba. The previous week  was her funeral and we went there as a class to offer our condolences. It was sad. She had children. Two of them. Girls. They were a mess with tears. Pain was visible in their eyes, you could tell they missed their mother dearly. Everyone spoke fondly of her, about how much she was a nice person and the changes she made around the community. I didn't know much about her, only that she was nosy.

A group of girls, three of them, came to my desk and banged their hands on it. They looked angry. "What are you doing weirdo?"
Ahhh! That was the "let's bully the new kid" kind of thing. Well not me.
They snatched my bag and ransacked it, throwing my books on the floor and tearing them. It was funny to them because they were laughing. The whole class was laughing. Two of them grabbed me and made me stand up.
"You are the weirdo everyone talks about here at school. You know there are rumors, others say they saw you going to Miss Ndaba's house the night she was killed. Did you kill her?" Suddenly I had a not so acute arrhythmias.
"Oh please! She looks too pruney and weak to do that", another girl said.

"Well, were you there Nonkululeko?"
"No", I replied back.
"Liar"
A slap! Followed by a punch straight to the stomach. Ohhh they started it. I felt dizzy and almost lost coordination for a second.
Another punch. Until they all ganged up on me. They threw me on the floor and kicked me. They all took turns in beating me. The class was going wild and fueling their anger to beat me. I was hopeless. It reminded me of all the times Nandi would beat me to a pulp and I would just cover my body like a baby. Begging and crying for her to stop. All those slaps, forks, spoons, pots that hit my head; all those memories came rushing in like they were stored somewhere waiting to come out.

"I'm sorry", I said with a low voice. But they didn't hear me, they were too busy hitting me. Where were the teachers when you needed them? I decided it was time to defend myself. I was tired of crying and begging. I was tired of waiting for someone to save me, because honestly, no one gave a shit about me. It was just me, myself and I against the entire world.

I used my leg to trip one of the bullies and she fell down. The other one tried to hit me again but I covered my face with my hands and I managed to stand up.
"Mshaye mshaye mshaye!!", the class shouted, cheering for the fight to go on.
I had to fight for myself or I would be bullied my entire life. I kicked the one who was trying to grab me and she fell on the floor. Number 2 came towards me in force and I used my elbow to knock out her face. I was mad angry, no I was furious. I could literally feel the smoke coming out of my nostrils. My chest was moving up and down and I was panting. I don't know where I got that strength but I lifted the desk and threw it at them "Ahhhhh", I grunted and pressed the desk with my foot while it was on top of them. I pushed it aside and got on top of one of them. I kept on punching and punching. I could feel every fist coming into contact with her face.Without holding back. Without any remorse or guilt. Blood, there was blood everywhere. Even on my face.

I felt hands removing me from her but I screamed trying to get back. It was the teacher. They came in numbers to hear what the noise was about.
"Nonkululeko stop this", Sir reprimanded me but it was like I was possessed with something, or I had taken steroids. I pushed him with so much force and he hit the window, the glass shattered and some tiny pieces got to him. I took the broken glass and headed to the bullies.
"You don't mess with me!!!"I tried to stab one of them but there were those hands again, holding me. They got me off of them and took the broken glass from me.

"Nonkululeko calm down. Calm down sisi", the other teacher tried to calm down. But I was not calm. They were the ones who started me. I was quiet, minding my own business and they just had to start me.
"I'm calling the ambulance", I heard one of the teachers saying. The principal took me to his office and sat me down. The anger was still there and I was not satisfied with beating the bullies.

"Nonkululeko, we don't practice violence in this school!"He was angry. He hìt the desk frustrated.
"Do you have any idea of what you just did?" I did.
"I defended myself. They started me."
"You broke a desk on them and wanted to stab them. What kind of animal are you?"
"Fuck you Mr Maseko"  I did not mean for that to come out loud. It was my inner thought.
"Fuck me?"
"I'm sorry. It's just that things are not well at home. My dad has cancer and he's at the hospital. Gogo's BP is high because she's worried about him. I am just so stressed and scared to lose my family. I don't have anyone else. It's just the three of us. I am not like this", I cried painfully. He came to me and comforted me.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know that. I'm sorry about your father but the doctors are smart. They will help him", the sympathy in his voice couldn't be missed. Excellent!
We heard sirens outside, maybe it was the ambulance.
"That must be the ambulance. Stay here. I will be back"

He left and I wiped my tears. I looked at my bloodied hands and wiped them with the tissue on the table.
A minute later, Mr Maseko came back, but he wasn't alone. There were two police officers with him and a man dressed casually.
"This is detective Malope, he would like to talk to you", he introduced them.
I forced my tears again, "Am I under arrest?"
They looked at each other and at me.
"We just want to ask you some questions"
I cried some more, more like wailing.
"Uhm, I don't think she can answer any questions right now. She's still traumatized. Maybe some other time"
"Okay. We will be back tomorrow"
They got out. Pheww! I let out a huge sigh and stared at Mr Maseko with a deadpan expression on my face.
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To be continued
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