♪ I tried you help you out, now I know that I can't
'Cause how you think's the kind of thing I'll never understand ♪Skylar Abbott POV
I shouldn't have called Max, but I did. He always kept me safe, this was no different. Maybe I wanted to know if he would indeed show up, and he did. I don't know what he might've been doing but he went to get me. I called and he came. It felt right, being in his arms was the place I was meant to be in. Smelling his scent in the air was almost depressing.
"If you need to take a shower you can take whatever you might want from the suitcase," he says as he turns his back.
"Thank you," I whisper understanding my place. He doesn't care that much and I should expect it but it still hurt.
I entered the bathroom and turned on the water so it wouldn't be freezing cold once I got in but a cold shower is always hard, I looked at myself in the mirror once I took my dress off. I used to be so pretty, I had a big self-esteem and now I can't even see myself in a mirror without looking at the scars all over my stomach.
I survived but at what cost? What did this shit cost me? Wouldn't I be better off dead? Wouldn't he be better? I feel dead either way. Only now have my energy levels gone back to normal, only now do I feel normal. But I look in the mirror and feel like I am not myself.
"Skylar! Don't do anything crazy, please," Max says as he knocks on the door, I turn around to make sure he wouldn't see the scars in case he entered the bathroom to check on me.
"I won't, I was depressed, I am not giving up in your bathroom," I basically yell back and I hear the sigh on the other side of the door.
"Why? Why the fuck did you do this to us?" The frustration in his voice breaks my heart and I feel the tears creeping back in.
I entered the bathtub and stood beneath the water as it fell. Why did I do that? I was so sure I was right. I was so sure he still loved her, I was sure he wanted her because I was dying in front of his eyes but she was the one who had the diagnosis. Not that it was a true one.
It took me being sick to realize she was never sick, she wanted him back now that he was doing better. She didn't want him while he was in Toro Rosso because he was a loser who never won anything. But when he became the golden boy of Red Bull she decided to creep back in to try to get a hold of his bank account.
My reason to leave wasn't strong enough, not enough to break my heart and his. He never read the letter. That is why he never found me. I waited for him to get into that hospital room but he never did, because he never knew.
I left the shower and put the dress on, I wasn't going to wear his clothes, I shouldn't even be here. I leave the bathroom after drying my hair off on the towel and I see him sitting on the couch, elbows resting on his knees, the worry is all over his face.
"You are not sleeping on that, put one of my shirts on or I will call George to give me one of his shirts if that's your preference," he says seriously as he gets up.
"I am sleeping on the couch and I will be leaving first thing in the morning because that is when I will remember my hotel's name," I inform him as I walk to the couch but he still stands between me and the couch.
"That is not fucking happening, you are sleeping on the bed. I am sleeping on the couch and you are putting a shirt on, that dress smells like alcohol Skylar!" He insists angrily and I just nod.
"Fine, I will do whatever you say. It's your room and I am the one who ruined the night," I give up and he gives me whatever shirt he had in the suitcase, a Red Bull shirt from 2021, the number 33 gave it away easily.
"You are shy now?" Max jokes as I turn around to go to the bathroom.
"I am not your girlfriend now, it's not shyness, it's decency," I say as I enter the bathroom, take the dress off, and put the shirt on before going to bed.
"Are you two official yet? He will not like this," Max asks as I sit on the bed and laugh.
"I am not with George, I would never call another man if I had a boyfriend, much less an ex-boyfriend, not everyone is friends with their ex," I throw the last words with some bitterness, I resented Max before my drunken mind was more sober and realistic than my sober one. Now I resent and hate Ava for worsening everything for both of us.
"You looked happy on that date and he obviously likes you, I thought it was official," he comments and I nod.
"Are you and Ava official? You don't seem to care about her much but she still shows up."
"No. I don't care about her that way, did once when I dated her for a short time, then cared as a friend would and now I can't find it in me to care about her," he says bluntly and I am almost pleased.
"That is wise," I respond as I prepare to lie down.
"She is not that important in my life. I would still like to get some closure once you are a bit sober, I think we both deserve to talk it out and move on with our lives. It's hard to move on when I don't know what I did wrong," he says calmly as he walks to the bathroom and I nod nervously.
"That is definitely fair," I tell him and he gives me a smile.
"I will take a shower, take that aspirin before going to sleep, it helps sometimes," he says as he points to the two pills on the bedside table.
"Thank you, have a good night," I say before he closes the door of the bathroom.
I took the pills and laid down with my back to the bathroom, I fell asleep pretty quickly, crying and alcohol together definitely was a good combination to help me fall asleep rather quickly. I slept like a baby, I am usually a light sleeper but I didn't even wake up with Max getting out of the shower.
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