♬ And the air is thick with loss and indecision
I know my pain is such an imposition ♬Max Verstappen POV
I arrived at the track on Thursday for media activities; both my parents were here but would keep their due distance, and I had just ended the press conference when I saw Christian calling me as I prepared to leave the paddock and go home.
"You need to come to your room, please," I don't know if he was telling me or asking, but I was definitely confused.
"Why? Did I forget anything?"
"Skylar is there. She said she wanted to speak to you. She wants to clear everything up so she is waiting for you there," he tells me, and my heart skips a bit.
"Are you kidding me? Because it's not funny," I say as I desperately look at where George came from. She was nowhere to be seen today, and I thought she was in his hospitality or room.
"I'm not; she has been there for half an hour. I wanted to tell you as soon as it ended because I know how much it means to you, and you deserve to have that closure. I don't want her to get cold feet," he says, and I start running to our hospitality. I simply didn't care about anything else at that moment. I saw my sister and mom for a split second as they were on the terrace.
"Skylar," I say her name breathlessly as I open the door to my room, and there she is. She looked like she saw a ghost, but she was looking good. She was tanned, and the old Skylar was pretty similar to this one.
"Max, I am sorry. I thought the press conference would end earlier , but it had a setback. You didn't need to rush here. I just wanted this to be over it, all the guilt and anxiety. I want to answer everything I left unsaid," she says as we sit facing each other.
"Why did you leave?" I ask a few seconds later once it all settles down on me.
"I blamed you for a lot of things, so I left. I felt neglected; I thought you still felt something for Ava; I felt invisible. When in reality, I was the one pushing you away; I was the one running and hiding and lying to everyone," her voice is shaky, and her eyes are glassy, but one thing is repeating in my mind. Lying.
"What did you lie about? And why?" I asked as I felt a lump in my throat. It's getting harder to breathe.
"I was feeling sick, it got worse as time went by. I didn't want to take your mind off the championship so I dealt with it from July until December," she says as she looks to the floor. She feels guilty. And I felt like a damn knife was being stabbed into my chest; my girlfriend thought the championship was more important to me than her health.
"Did you- did you find out what it was? That's a long time," I asked, concerned with what the answer might be.
"Cancer," her answer stopped my whole system; I think my world dropped right there.
"What?" That was the only thing I could say through the shockwave roaming my body.
"Hm... Stomach cancer, stage three. I had a partial gastrectomy to remove the tumors and did some chemotherapy before and after. I am doing good on the recovery aspect of it. I've gone back to my usual weight, I've been in therapy, and it has been a positive year thus far. I am doing good now."
I stayed silent for minutes, I couldn't say anything to that reveal. She had cancer, and it probably got caught later on because she was more worried about me winning than her being healthy enough to stay.
"You left after I had won. You could've told me, but you didn't. Why? Did you think I would leave you for being sick? When did you find out what it was?" I felt numb as words left my mouth.
"I found out a week before. I vomited blood a few times, and I was worried by then. Ava was always playing these mind games with me, and I was so mentally wrecked that I somehow believed you felt something for her, that I was lucky even to have you, even if I felt neglected."
She paused to regain some composure, and I couldn't blame her because the tears were silently sliding down my face.
"I kept thinking you should've checked up on me more; you should've been more stubborn whenever I sent you away; you should've noticed my weight loss. But it was nobody's fault. Maybe mine for hiding it. Maybe hers for playing those mind games. But it was never your fault, Max. I was mentally unwell, and I probably fucked you up in consequence," she looks me in the eyes, and I can see the hurt in them. I never wanted to see her like this.
"I never loved her. I never loved Ava, and I never wanted to believe anything she told me about you, about your disappearances and secrecy. I chose to stay, and you decided to go. I would've never left you alone in a moment like that. Fuck! I would've taken you to a doctor in July before you could even complain about it. You could've died just for me to win a damn trophy? Yeah, it was good. It felt good. But it doesn't compare to risking your life; you were the love of my life, Skylar. I would've given my career up to save you if I had to."
I poured my heart out for the first time. But it wasn't enough. I felt broken, I did this, I must've gone wrong somewhere along the way because she believed the damn championship was worth being in the limbo between life and death.
"I know, Max. Believe me. I know it now. I was so blinded. I came back still having these thoughts, but then I saw you. I learned about the ring, and we fought. I was spiraling again, so I went to therapy, and I slowly realized things. I am so sorry for what I've done to you, to us, to myself. I am so sorry, Max," she says as a sob escapes her lips, and I almost give in and hug her. But I can't.
"Knowing what you know now. Would you have left? Do you wish you could take it back?" I ask, and her eyes find mine quickly.
"Max, I-"
"It's a yes or no question," I say, watching her eyes waver in doubt.
YOU ARE READING
Broken ✞ Max Verstappen x OC x George Russell
FanfictionMax Verstappen is making his name part of Formula 1 history, starting with his championship fight in 2021. Backstage, his life is troubled. He has an unhealthy relationship with his dad and, consequently, with himself. He was broken. His trust and h...