Love In Colour

CHAPTER FIFTEEN: CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS & FRIENDSHIP PERKS

The sizzle of bacon on the hot pan moves me away from the plating of the pancakes and get it off the pan before it burns.

I'm making breakfast, I woke up early and needed something to do. The mental chatter was too much and too loud. I had to do something to drown it out, even though it was hard for me to get up from Grayson's warm embrace.

The man brought me back from a dark place last night. The least I can do is cook him a hearty breakfast. He told me not to thank him but I just needed to show him my appreciation.

Too occupied by the food on the counter, I jump a little when I feel arms wrap around me from behind. I feel his lips on my cheek and it makes me smile. "Good morning," he murmurs deeply.

His morning voice nearly makes my knees tremble. "Good morning." I greet him back.

"You made breakfast," he states.

I nod, my back still against his chest, "Yes, I did."

"Need help?" he asks.

"Coffee would be wonderful."

His arms slip away from my waist and I miss the warmth but the task at hand is more important.

We move in harmony around his kitchen. Within minutes all the food is plated and the counter is neatly set up. We sit on the barstools next to each other and eat our breakfast. We talk about trivial stuff, the weather, and how gloomy it is today. It looks like it is going to rain, the dark clouds are a clear sign of that. We move from one topic to the next, it almost feels like we're ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Gray, about last ni-"

"-no, you don't have to explain anything," he says, cutting me off. "It's really okay."

I sigh, "I know, but I want to let you in at least a little. To get some context on why I have these nightmares."

He places his fork down and turns his torso towards me, he takes ahold of my hands, "Are you sure? You really don't have to."

"I am sure."

He nods. "Alright."

"This is not the type of conversation to have so early in the morning." I deeply inhale, "I didn't have a good childhood. I never got a good, gentle introduction to sex." I look down at our intertwined hands.

"I was molested. Raped, multiple times by different people. When I was in the system, each new house I was taken to held a new nightmare. The beatings I can get through but the rape..." I look up into his eyes, "Those are what haunt me the most. The nightmares aren't just dreams, it's like I get to relive that horror all over again."

I blink away the tears forming in my eyes. I never cried about this when I told people. But, here I am crying in front of this man. Second time too.

I feel myself being pulled into his embrace. A tight , warm hug. "I'm so sorry, and I'm sorry that an apology is all I can offer. That is fucked up. You didn't deserve any of that, no child deserves to live through that." His voice becomes thick, coated with so much emotion.

"It's okay."

He moves back, looking into my eyes, "No, it's not okay. It wasn't okay then and it won't be okay now. It never will be."

The tears come back again and this time they cascade down my cheeks. He wipes them away with his thumbs, "You're strong. You made it out. You're safe."

I nod while trying to catch my breath. "I made it out." I croak.

He smiles, his eyes also teary, "Yes baby, you made it out."

***

Grayson lets me into his world. He shows what he does for a living. I may not understand any of the jargon he tries to explain, but I think it's really cool and I'm highly impressed by it.

His work sounds awesome and I love how passionate he is about it. I watch his eyes glow when he tells me about how he gets to work with companies like Microsoft, Google, and Adobe. The man takes pride in his work and I am so attracted to his ambitious, goal-driven mind.

My gaze roams his beautiful home office. I walk towards a collection of video games. Their packaging is still unopened.

"Those are some of the games I helped to work on," he says, suddenly sounding shy.

I turn to look at him, his mismatched eyes look perfect due to the natural light flowing in, "Are you embarrassed?" I ask.

He tilts his head, his face becoming a little pink.

My hand reaches out to caress his beard-covered cheek, "There's no need to be shy about this. You love video games, so what? You get paid to do what you love; what you're passionate about."

He smiles, relaxing at my comforting words.

The rest of our day is spent indoors due to the heavy rain outside. We cuddle on the couch, with snacks on the coffee table as we watch The Last of Us.

The ringing of the doorbell and the immediate opening of the door afterward, makes Gray leave our warm cacoon.

I hear footsteps getting closer to the living room, "Yo! King!."

A familiar face appears seconds later. It's his friend, I can't remember his name though I remember meeting him at the hospital when he'd come to visit Gray.

"Siya, you should definitely call before you arrive."

Siya, that's his name.

"Why?" Siya asks.

I lean up from the couch and look over to where he stands with Gray. The man's eyes widen when he sees me and then a big Chesire Cat grin appears.

"You devil," he says to Gray before walking over to the couch and sitting on the spot that Gray occupied before. "Hi Thandi."

I pull my knees to my chest, "Hello."

His smile widens when Gray moves to sit on the armrest next to me, his arm snaking around my shoulders. "You're so cute."

He stands up, "Well, I apologise for intruding." he then quickly walks away. I hear the front door click shut a moment later.

I crane my neck to look up Grayson, "Your friend is weird."

He sighs, "All my friends are weird."

He leans down to kiss me and I welcome his lips warmly.

"Good thing that idiot is a chef, he brought food," he says with a wicked grin.

I giggle. That's a very good thing indeed.