You can make requests and I may or may not choose it to write. I'm not the greatest at writing characters that aren't utterly satire or disgusting (all of my works are good examples of this) so, just a heads up, these characters may be a little out...
(Also, this is going to read similarly to Bacon Purse or H E L L . If you've read either of those, you'll know.)
Also, this is intentional cringe and nastiness. So uh ya... be prepared for a lot of shit and puke and nonsensical things.
Rochelle was walking down the street, unsuspecting of the misfortunes that were to come...
"HERE CUMS SOME PUKE!" Ellis yelled, throwing a wide jar that was full of a brownish yellow liquid. Rochelle was very fortunately in the way of the jar, and it smashed against the back of her skull.
The liquid smelled WAY worse than boomer bile, and it was MUCH more viscous. The whitish hue was a clue, but it was so rancid and discolored, that she had NO IDEA what it was.
"NICE SHOT, EL! YA GOT HER WITH THE CUM JAR!" A loud voice bellowed from the rooftops. Rochelle couldn't open her eyes to see what it was, but by the belching, she assumed it was that boomer that defied all laws of the Green Flu and could speak.
Then, she was COATED with more foul, viscous liquid. One that smells familiar.
Boomer bile.
So now, she had fermented nut and boomer puke all over her. That's actually really great!
She heard the shriek of the horde and a skid of tires. Oh no- wait, that's a GOOD thing!
Rochelle began to run in the opposite direction, her eyes opening by reflex, and the painful liquid got into her eyes. She screamed in pain, before tripping over a smoker's tongue- or so she thought. Turns out, it was his wee wee, and he grabbed her with it, and threw her like a paper clip.
"AHHHHHH OH NO!!!! AAAAAHHH!!!" Rochelle screamed, before hitting a wall of muscle. "OH NO!! NOT BUFF NICK!!! IM GETTING FLASHBACKS!!!!" She cried, getting horrific memories.
Tick-tock
Heavy like a Brinks truck
Looking like I'm tip-top
Shining like a wristwatch
Time will grab your wrist
Lock it down 'til the thing pop
Can you stick around for a minute 'til the ring stop?
Please, God
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH NO MOREEE!!!11!!!111!1!1
"NOOOO!!!" Rochelle tried to run but she couldn't because she was in a trance from Nick's mommy milkers and ginormous abs.
The images of buff TF2 and buff L4D began to flash in her head as she screamed.
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Buff engineer was seriously plaguing her mind, being a buff torture method!
"NO MORE BUFF OILY MEN!!!" She snapped out of her trance and began running.
She was then stopped by a small child. "I HAVE POOP SCISSORS!" The stupid little 6 year old showed Rochelle a picture of shit-covered scissors on its phone and she swept its legs out from under it and kept running.
"I HATE CHILDREN NOW!" She yelled, before tripping over a pair of scissors . "Ow!" She yelped, holding her foot. The scissors' blades were brown and crusty...
Rochelle did a dainty little taste test.
It was poop. She just licked crusty shit off the scissor blades.
"EW!" She barfed, before a boomer puked into her mouth. Rochelle was then punched by a tank, it's fist going up her bootyhole and it sounded like mayonnaise glopping onto the floor. She died but respawned and shat violently, blasting the tank into space. She fell over and had a seizure, and Big Daddy Coach hit her sexily in a bus, dragging her to the next town.
She could hear the small party happening in the school bus, and she got so mad that she couldn't join (because she's a fucking loser), that she shit her pants violently.
The shit blasted out of her asshole so hard, that it acted like a rocket booster, and the bus was propelled forward, accelerating at 5,926,943 miles per hour, passing Bobby Hill and Peppa pig making out again, while Kermit the Frog was mercilessly beating mrs piggy with a 17 inch dill doe.
Ah, memory lane 🥰
The bus flew off the planet, into space, where Rochelle went flying off to Mercury. When she collided with it, she destroyed that fucking pussy ass planet. That god damned no good stupid planet and that fucking loser ass bitch, Roachhell, flew into the sun and fucking died.
Coach then beat his meat to a soccer match in the bus.
"AAAAAUGH 😩"" big daddy coach squealed, as his Deek shot off like a cannonball, and it smacked the tank in the face, causing him to sob. The other 13 laughed in his face, and laughing could be heard from Bill's urn. He may not have been alive physically, but his spirit still was.
Hunter, Smoker, and Boomer were roaring with laughter the loudest, Ellis, Nick, and Zoey's guffaws were challenging them in volume. Jockey was always laughing, but Spitter and Charger were laughing quite hard, themselves. Coach, Louis, Bill, and Witch's laughter was quieter. The 13 were all laughing at Tank.
"STOP ITTTTTR YOURE MAKING MY DEMONS CUM OUT!!!" The tank screamed, causing everyone to laugh even harder.
Roachhell's death caused all evil on the planet, Earth, to burn into a beautiful purple flame, and the world became perfect sunshine and rainbows.
The world was as is should be; without Rochelle.
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