L4d2 x Reader one shots

Illiteracy

I saw a Resident Evil vid of this and got mega inspired.

Ellis can't spell, nor read.

also, I drew ELLUSH. LOOK AT HIM.

"Ellis, wait! Don't go in there!" You warned the southern man, as he approached a door with a bright yellow warning sign on it. "Why not?" He asked you, turning around to look at you.

"Read the sign." You told Ellis, rolling your eyes at him. He glanced to the yellow metal plate that was mounted on the door.

He stared at it briefly, then reached for the handle. "That sign can't stop me, 'cause I can't read!"

"Ellis, no! There are tanks in that- GOD DAMNIT, ELLIS!" Ellis opened the door, shrill alarms shrieking, and three tanks began charging to open door.

You grabbed Ellis and damn near dragged him out of the abandoned factory, while the trio of tanks angrily followed.

it took several hours of playing a life-threatening game of hide and seek, to FINALLY get them off your asses, and get the two of you to the safety of the saferoom.

"What the hell, Ellis? Why would you open that door?!" You were angry with the mechanic. You had seen him read and acknowledge things, so why didn't he do the same for that door?

"It didn't say not to!" He defended himself, while the eyes of the group were on the two of you. "Yes, it did! It said 'do not open under any circumstances. Tanks inside, alarm will sound.' And you OPENED it!" You were reasonably angry with the southern man. How could he do that?

"Y/n, you know he can't read, right..?" Nick asked you, chuckling. "What? I've seen him read the names of guns and ammo, how the hell are you gonna say he CAN'T read?!" You snapped at the conman, who only got amusement from your anger.

"Chill, y/n. That's the funny thing, he literally cannot read those either. He was just taught what they mean, and no one elaborated further. He only recognizes the characters and how they're strung together. He was taught to shoot before he could walk, remember?" Nick told you, as he sat down on the saferoom couch, opening up a book.

"Wait, what?" You looked at Ellis with shock, before erupting into a laughing fit. "Nah, I call bullshit, Nick!" You laughed, but seeing Ellis thin his lips at you, giving you a "really?" Look.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Do you want some F-O-O-D?" You asked the southern man, who looked at you perplexed. "I don't think Ellis wants some F-O-O-D or a S-N-A-C-K." Coach chuckled, glancing from you to the mechanic. "What? But he always wants F-O-O-D!" You were slightly dramatizing your shock.

"What're y'all talkin' 'bout?" Ellis inquired, cocking his head at the two of you. "Uhh... insurance... yeah." Ellis didn't seem very interested in your conversation, after you informed him what you were supposedly speaking about. Ellis wandered over to the saferoom door and peered out through the bars.

"Wait, Ellis can't spell?" The bland loser asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically at Coach. Coach shook his head at the plain one, and she rolled her eyes. "He is a grown man! He can't seriously take hearing the word 'food' or 'snack'? What about 'treat'?" Rochelle was unimpressed and greatly unamused, and she said the three forbidden words: Snack, Treat, and Food.

"Damnit Rochelle!" Nick, Coach, and Yourself scolded the non-favorite, while Ellis got very noticeably excited.

"SNACK? WE'RE HAVIN' A SNACK?!" Ellis practically squealed from excitement, looking at the four of you with absolute delight and excitement.

"No, Ellis. No snack." Coach said to the southern man with a stern voice, pointing his finger at him. Coach sounded like a dad to a dog, and it was rather laughable.

You felt bad when you saw Ellis' excitement die faster than my grandma, after she fell down the stairs, and he frowned. "Aww..." He sounded so sad and dejected... and his gaze falling to the floor certainly added to the sad factor. You felt bad for him...

"Come on, guys. He is a grown adult! He is like, twenty-three years old! And he can't handle the mention of f-o-o-d? Do we just treat him like a toddler?" Ellis perked up again, upon the uninteresting one's speech, hearing one particular word that he likes.

"Treat?" Ellis was excited for a treat that didn't even exist. "Sorry champ, no treats for you. You're a very bad Ellis." Nick told Ellis; in the same patronizing tone he used when picking on everyone. "Wha- I'm not a bad Ellis!" The pure-hearted mechanic cried, looking to you. "Am I?" He questioned you, giving you the sweetest puppy eyes.

"....no, you're- you're fine." You assured the southern man, and he smirked at the others. You were desperately holding back your laughter. Ellis was so much like a golden retriever that you could swear that he was a dog in a human's body.

"See? I knew I was good." He trilled victoriously. You could see Nick's harsh glare burning into your soul. "Oh, so now we're treating him like a dog, too?" The conman sneered, causing Ellis to become VERY excited.

"Treat?!" Ellis' blue eyes were full of hope and eagerness. "NO TREAT, DUMBSHIT!" Nick snapped at Ellis, who's excited and anticipating smile dropped into a frown. "Goddamnit!" Ellis whined, sounding rather upset.

"He's getting fussy. Time for a N-A-P." Coach chuckled, patting Ellis on the back, making a deep thump sound. Ellis looked to Coach and grinned, then his gaze fell upon you. You turned to face Ellis, a small smile creeping up on your face. "Ellis, what does N-A-P spell?" You asked him and he smiled widely at you. "Party!" His cheerful and confident answer made you giggle pretty hard.

Well, it was obvious Ellis couldn't read or spell. You had a mild suspicion of it, but you never tested it, nor asked.