Pumpkin Eater

October 28th

You begged your girlfriend Billie to please just stay inside the safety of the tent, after she said she heard something out in the woods and wanted to go check it out.

You were camping in the middle of no where!

You told her if she heard something it was probably just a hungry bear looking for food!

That the safest thing to do is wait in the tent until the bear finishes digging through the trash outside!

Your stubborn girlfriend wouldn't listen to a word you were saying though.

She just got mad at your hesitation and snapped, "Well someone has to wear the pants in this relationship and it's obviously not you!"

You don't know why she expected you to be the "guy" in your lesbian relationship.

You're a professional ballerina!

You were actually straight - and in a 8 year long relationship with your boyfriend, Timmy.

You started dating in 5th grade and just never broke up.....until Billie Eilish asked you out.

You didn't even know who she was.

She was dressed like a boy in all those baggy clothes.

Everyone in the audience of the ballet show was going crazy over the fact that "Billie Eilish" was even in the same room as them - so you knew she was someone important.

You didn't have time to Google her until after you had already met her backstage and agreed to be her girlfriend.

You actually forgot all about your boyfriend.

You were so distracted by all the expensive jewelery, bodyguards and screaming fangirls - that when she asked you on a date you just said yes.

Your boyfriend was crushed when he found out you were a lesbian.

You didn't even know you were agreeing to date a girl.....but Billie spoiled you with her money, so you decided to just stay with her.

Getting called a dyke and being told you were going to rot in hell - was well worth being able to buy anything you want whenever you want it.

You didn't want Billie to die on your first solo date without security!

It would look suspicious as hell!

"Billie don't be dumb! You don't know who's out there! It could be a serial killer!" You cried to her, but she wouldn't listen to you!

She just rolled her eyes and unzipped the tent!

You threw yourself at her, holding onto her legs!

"- Please don't go out there, baby! Don't leave me here alone!" You gasped to your girlfriend, but she just kicked you off of her!

"- Fine! YOU stay here and hide in the tent like a little BITCH! I'm gonna go out there and figure out what's going on!" She defied.

You didn't want your girlfriend to die....

You didn't want to die either.

If Billie wanted to be the stupid girl who went trampling out into danger investigating a strange sound and got killed - you wanted nothing to do with it!

So as soon as she left the tent, you zipped it up behind her and sat in the middle of the tent holding your bear spray mace.

It would take the bear a while to eat Billie....but then it would surely come for you next!

You prayed you could just play dead and the bear would leave you alone.....

That's when you heard Billie screaming.