TEACH ME NOT 2 HATE LOVE

86

👧Tajea POV 👧

Darn it! I'm still so damn mad at that prick, Nik. I'm still broken up, devastated, and destroyed by little Nik's critical situation. My emotions were all over the damn globe. I'm very overwhelmed. I mean, what mother wouldn't be after seeing her little boy laying there motionless? Seeming to be in an eternal sleep. It's very disturbing. Frightening. My poor heart can't take it.

And no matter how, my girl Regina and my mother, who, surprisingly and not so surprisingly, dropped whatever she was doing when she heard about the tragedy to support me—be there for me in my times of devastation. She tried to console me, but it wasn't working.

Sure, I want to believe them so bad—hoping that they were right. That my boy will be alright. But I'm human, and sometimes, in our weakest moments, no matter how faithful we want to be or try to be, we don't believe in some things until we see them.

The two were also pestering me to eat the meal my mother bought on her way here earlier. However, I'm not in the mood for food. I have too much on my mind right now. I'm too depressed to worry about that.

Of course, my bossy, persistent, and annoying friend wouldn't take no for an answer. This girl never stopped pushing until she got me to agree to eat the damn meal. And when I attempted to do so, just the smell of it made me vomit up my guts. Ugh, it felt like I was dying, like this was never going to end.

Some time passed, and the vomiting seemed to have come to a stop. Hopefully, because I still feel sick in the stomach. It must be from something bad I ate this morning before all that unfolded today.

"You are pregnant," my mother observed my features before saying out of the blues.

"What? No!" Is she crazy? That's not possible.

How?

Of course, I know how people get pregnant, but I'm not pregnant.

Well, apart from the upset stomach I'm having right now, my breast has been feeling tender and tingling every now and again. And I'm a bit nauseated and bloated. All symptoms and signs that it's my time of the month. At least I thought that was the case. I pray that's the case.

"Child, I know a pregnant woman when I see one. And you are pregnant," my mother stated firmly. What is she, a damn human pregnancy test? A child-detecting machine? What does she know?

And while I was in total shock, Regina was all excited, as if she had heard the best news in her life.

"I'm going to be an aunt!" She squealed like a butchered pig. I'm sure the whole neighborhood heard her. Even the angels in heaven heard her.

"No, you are not, because I'm not pregnant." I refused to believe that.

"Then why don't you take a test to be sure?" Regina insisted.

"There is no need for that. I say I'm not pregnant. So, I'm not." Blurg!!!

Oh, damn this sh*t again.

"You are pregnant. Nik will be thrilled by this."

"No, he won't. Because I'm not pregnant. And besides, Nik and I are not on good terms right now," I said in a sour mood.

"What's wrong with you two now?" Regina sighed, exasperated. Rolling her eyes, even.

"I don't feel like talking about it." Earlier, I only told Regina and my mother that little Nik and I were attacked by terrorists. The critical condition of my boy. However, I never told them that the attack was actually retaliation for what Nik had done to Amelia's parents. I don't want to worry or upset them.

And I don't want them to believe Nik is a bad person. That he isn't good enough for me.

"Well, I'm sure whatever it is. You two will work it out. You are pregnant. Little Nik will be alright. And when he wakes up, he's going to need both his parents. So, you two better hurry up and sort out your differences."

"Yeah. Yeah. Now, if you excuse me." Blurg!!!

"Oh girl, that's just nasty!" Regina turned up her nose in disgust.

More time passed again, and my constant hurling came to an end. Permanently, hopefully. I did a pregnancy test, and sh*t, I'm pregnant. With Nik's child, of course.

No. No. No!!! Damn, why! Why did this have to happen at a time like this? I'm not ready to be a mother yet. Well, I'm already a mother. But you get what I mean.

No. I should be happy about this, right? But how can I be with my other baby in such a horrible situation? And I can't tell Nik about this right now. Can I? Should I? No. It's definitely not the right time for this.

Oh no, I am a total mess. I'm terrified.

"So, are you going to tell Nik about this?" Regina asked. More like teased.

"Please do not mention that prick's name. It is all his fault why I am like this." Pregnant and completely overwhelmed by it. That's what you get for having sex without condoms most of the time.

"Ha ha. They weren't kidding when they said pregnant women are cranky and miserable. But you have always been that way, Taj. Were you born pregnant?" Regina continued with her taunting.

"Ha ha, very funny." I displayed my middle finger to her. My face showed how annoyed and dissatisfied I was with her.

My mom was just sitting by, quietly enjoying the show.

"It is, isn't it?" Regina poked my nose and laughed at my childish behavior.

"Keep getting on my nerves and see what happens." I warned.

"Are you going to whoop my ass? Well, I'm waiting." Regina waved her ass around like a toddler waiting for a beatdown. This damn girl. Ha ha ha. I can't help but laugh.

"I'm tempted. But I'll pass." I rolled my eyes.

"Girl, don't worry too much about it. You and Nik will be great parents." Regina stated seriously this time, caressing my cheeks, even to reassure me that all will be well. Damn, it's amazing how she knows me so well. "You are already so good with little Nik."

The mention of my little boy's name saddens me once more. It also made me curious and concerned about whether he's doing better now. If he had woken up. I doubt it.

If that were the case, Nik would call me already, telling me the good news. Regardless of how rude I was to him earlier.

Damn that prick, Nik. I still blame him for this tragedy. However, I love him so much. It hurts so bad to be at odds with him. Be away from him at a time when he needs me the most. Our little boy needs me. I need them.

Sigh. All of a sudden, I feel so exhausted. As if I can't go on any more. I better go lie down. That's what I did. And my mom and my sister smothered me until I fell asleep.