Fate

Chapter 126

Mina's POV
I peered over his shoulder, grinning. "What are you reading?"

He pulled his head back. "The book you've really like since you were a teenager."

I left a kiss on his forehead. "L'Étranger? How is it?"

I sat on the arm of the couch while he answered. "The main character maintains an impersonal tone and disinterested point of view the whole time. I mean... Even with his love life if we can even call it that. To him, it's just what happens it's determined and factual. It's far from what I'm used to read."

I gave him a look. "Is it? Almond by Song Wonpyung isn't recalling Naturalism as a literary mouvement? Yunjae was born with a brain condition called Alexithymia that makes it hard for him to feel emotions like fear or anger. He's more factual as well and emotions are an impairment of human behaviour." Also.. "When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
said Science may provide the most useful way to organise empirical, reproducible data, but its power to do so is predicated on its inability to grasp the most central aspects of human life: hope, fear, love, hate, beauty, envy, honour, weakness, striving, suffering, virtue. So, I think it is in your zone. Besides, didn't you read it once?"

He chuckled. "Once. Ten years ago, maybe. But you're right, it fits in my reading style. I have a question though."

"What about?"

"Does he and Yunjae from Almond have the same condition? Don't you have alexithymia?"

That was not what I expected. "I don't think they share the pathology. You can see he knows his emotions, but they are a flaw to him. That's why he shot the man a second time, because the first was lead by anger which is unacceptable to him. Everything has to be rational. Yunjae doesn't understand his feelings which the other one does. I am like that. I'm surprised it's not as obvious as I think." I had trouble understanding how I feel all my life. I'm always settling for upset, tired, contempt or joyful. I don't understand my anger or jealousy or sadness. They feel like numbness to me.

"Because it shows when you open your mouth!" He poke my nose. "You say I'm glad it went well not I'm happy it went well. Glad is not an emotion. It's a fact. Why did you like the book in the first place?"

I smiled and caressed his hair. "I related to it. You know, that's why I say business is business. I despise when the emotions on my face or in my tone are being interpreted instead of defined by asking me. Social interactions are hard because I feel I need an instruction manual for every person I meet."

He frowned. "Even with us?"

I shrugged. "At first, yeah! But we took time to truly understand eachother as people. I don't have to fake my personality and feelings so it doesn't make me upset when I have trouble expressing my emotions because you are going to help me figure it out!"

He grinned. "You're happy."

I jumped off my seat. "You enjoyed a book I suggested. Of course I am!"

Jungkook came down the stairs. "I'm starting the hot tub, you guys coming?"

We didn't get pleaded.

Namjoon's POV
The warm water felt so nice!