ℒ 𝒐𝒓 𝙵 𝑫𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒕𝒘𝒐

Chapter thirty:)

Warning! In this story it can be very sexual, mental health, eating disorders, self harm, really bad behavior and words.

"Oscar! There you are!"

"Hello to you too Daniel"

"Why are you late? You promise to eat breakfast with me before we went to the track together"

"I know! I know! I just overslept!"

"Okay but that's not a excuse to be late!"

"Oh and I was chased by a big unicorn who wanted to eat me up!"

"Okay but let's go! I'm extremely hungry!" Daniel said before we started walking in to a cafe he had found yesterday. We fixed something to eat and sat down by a table while I tried to hide the marks from yesterday night. After we were done, we left and started walking to the track and the paddock. When we was walking through we saw Carlos, Charles and Pierre standing and talking with each other. But I started to panic when I realized that everyone could see the marks on Charles throat that I had made on him. And of course Daniel would see that too and looked over to me. He took the hood off my head and stared extremely hard at my marks. Then he started looking back and forth at me and Charles. That moment I just wanted to ran away and hide. But then he put his hand on my shoulder, smiled at me and turned to Charles direction. I fast put the hood on my head and hide the marks.

"NICE MARKS LECLERC!" He screamed, pointing at the throat when all three of them had turned around to face him.

"I know right" Charles laughed and they started walking over to us. I felt Carlos eyes on me, they were not eyes of happiness. I just rolled my eyes and left to go to McLaren. I got inside, got something to drink and sat down by a table with Andrea. He just smiled before he started talking about this sprint weekend. I tried to listen but my thoughts didn't let me. The only thing I could think about was Aisha and Jack and how happy I was for Max and Kelly.

"You are smiling" Andrea interrupted my thoughts. "Have something good happened today?"

"Not really, I'm just happy for Verstappen"

"I can understand that but you know one day, maybe you going to be a father too"

"I don't think so. Not if I'm going to have a shit love life like right now "

"Yea I can see that" he smiled and pointed at the throat. I just shake my head and told him that it was not what it looked like. He just laughed and left to go to the garage. So I walked in to my room and closed the door before I breaks down in tears. Everyone word was spinning in my head, that they wanted me to fix everything between me and Lando. I felt like I was just a big fucking dickhead who pushing Lando more and more away.

Why can I just be honest with myself! Everyone knows that I love him except me! I'm to scared that I'm going to hurt him. What is wrong with me? Why do I have to be so fucked up? Why do I always pushing people away when I am to scared! Why can I just accept the facts that I actually love Lando!

The tears was coming like waterfalls and I couldn't get any air in to my lungs anymore. I tried my best to calm me down but it was only getting worse and worse. Somehow I could get myself to the bathroom, turn on the shower and had something sharp in my hand. I threw off my hoodie and few minutes later the water started turning red. I just wanted to scream out the pain but not a single word came out of my mouth. I was feeling so disgusted of myself and that I had let everyone down. I closed my eyes hoping that everything would disappear but instead I felt a hand on my shoulder and fast open my eyes again. He took the sharp thing from my hand, throw it in to the trash and turn off the shower before he hugged me tightly.

"I'm sorry Oscar. I didn't know how much this would effect you. I shouldn't have said those things yesterday. I'm so sorry. I didn't know how much you actually was hurting. I was just so selfish. But everything going to be okay, I promise!" Carlos said with tears in his eyes while he was hugging me. "I didn't think it through. I just got hurt to see you at Charles place" he said after taking a deep breath.

"Look, I'm only hurting people more and more. I shouldn't be a racing driver. I shouldn't be here. I can't do this anymore"

"Yes you can. I'm going to help you. I'm sorry for being a asshole to you this few weeks" he said while wiping his and my tears away. "I have been so jealous of you. To see that you can get anyone you want. Everyone loves you"

"That's not true!" I said and looked at him after I had pushed him away.

"But it is. First Logan then Lando, after that Fabio and now Charles"

"But me and Charles are just friends!"

"I know but I also know that you guys have slept with each. Not only once!"

"Yea maybe but I have also hurt everyone of them except Charles. I have fucked it up!"

"No! Logan and Lando was arguing and fighting all the time because they both wanted you. They made everything worse for you. You didn't know what to do. Then Fabio was just a dickhead who was the one who were cheating in your relationship! Then he also was the one who fucked your and Lando relationship. Not you. I understand completely why you couldn't tell Lando the truth. I wouldn't either" Carlos said with tears in his eyes. "You haven't done anything wrong! You had enough of this shit so you thought the best thing to do was to end everything with Lando. I totally get that! I don't blame you honestly now when I think about it. You are so kind, good looking and have a beautiful soul. Any person would be lucky to have you in their lives! I'm serious! I should have just been open minded and see everything clear instead of acting like I have done because I was jealous" he said as his tears were like a waterfall down his cheeks. In that moment I felt really bad for him so I opened my arms and pulled him in to a long tight hug.

"You don't have to be sorry. People can do stuff when they don't like what they see. But are you going to tell Charles that you like him?"

"What? No?! How did you know that I liked Charles"

"I'm not stupid Carlos. You act so jealous when you found out that I was at Charles. You eyes wanted to kill me today when both me and Charles had marks on our throats. I kinda figured it out" I smiled as I let go of him and he smiled back.

"But please don't tell anyone!"

"I promise. Your secret is safe with me!" I said and he gave me one more hug before I helped him up on his feet. We left the bathroom and sat down on the couch to continue talking about everything. We open up to each other and after like 2,5 hours we finally gave each other a hug as a goodbye before he left to go back to the Ferrari. So I took a deep breath and my shoulder felt a little bit lighter.

This actually feels really good. To finally open up fully to someone. Maybe I should talk with Lando? It maybe isn't a bad idea.