Hands | DNF

12.

Well shit, now was the moment that I wanted to scream Clay may believe my white lies but Will smells my bullshit from a mile. And he knows that I've struggled with eating before so this should be fun. I go upstairs and change into some sweats. When I get down we get into Wilbur's car and he drives us to our favorite dinner.

We sit down and a minute later we get menu's so we can order.

"I think I'll get the waffles. And an orange juice. What about you guys?"

Wilbur thinks for a second before answering I was waiting so he can do it first and buy me some time.

"I'll get the English breakfast. And a black coffee."

Says Wilbur turning to me. I tried to pick something with less calories and something small.

"I'll get a black coffee as well and I haven't chosen yet so I'll order in a bit."

The waitress finished writing the order and left the table. I put my coat back on and excuse myself. I go to the front of the diner and light up a cigarette. I smoke for a bit before Wilbur comes out.

"George has it come back? You know what I'm talking about. I've seen you do this before and we both remember."

"I'm sorry."

That is the only thing I can say. Seeing Wilbur grabbing his head thinking about what to do, made it all 10 times more real.

"It's fine. I just want you to call me and talk to me, don't try to lie to me, you know I can tell when you're lying."

"I know."

I finish my cigarette and we both head inside. As we sit down the waitress comes with our drinks. And I quickly ordered a fruit salad. We talked about different things until the food came. Once I saw the big plate of food in front of me I wanted to run out. The fruit salad was also covered with ice cream, nuts and whipped cream. My stomach turned over.

I looked up and met Wilbur's eyes that were staring at me and just waiting for my reaction. It got worse when Dream did the same looking at me and then the plate as if expecting. I don't dare to look down again so I just grab the fork and start doing what I am good at. Act and pretend that everything is under control.

Long time ago I learned how to hide that I couldn't eat. All you do is avert the attention from the food. This worked even on Wilbur but once he saw me without my hoodie and that is how he found out.

"So Clay just so you know tomorrow I have school, right?"

I start talking and that is the most important part. The next thing is to start cutting up my food with the knife and just continue to talk about different stuff. Then you ask the questions right before you ask you bring a fork with the food up as if you're gonna eat but then the question distracts and you place it back down.

And it works.

I do that until I grab one of the empty plates and make it as if I am cleaning up by emptying the plate into the other and stacking it so the plate on top hides the food below it.

Apparently Clay is not immune to it  and at the end he seems to believe I just ate most of the food, but what really hurts is the look that Wilbur has on his face. The disappointment that was written on his face really fucking hurt.