Hands | DNF

14.

"Ok, ok let me explain. Hmm, where do I start from. Wilbur help out. From where should I fill them in."

Now I definitely felt the alcohol to it's fullest.

"Ok for the confused people here this is me the real George. Ok no, the honest George, or the drunk George I guess. Wilbur over there has been trying to prevent this but apparently I wasn't ready to stop.
So after mom died I found the best coping method ever, alcohol and tons of it. So it was constant cycle of me drinking till I pass out. Show up at school or wherever half drunk, having Wilbur babysit me and bring me home, for me to only repeat. Clay you never could have noticed because you weren't here but again I guess that counts for you as well David."

"George that's enough. C'mon you know the drill. Go to the bath and wait there until I come."

Wilbur said with his serious voice which made me laugh more than ever. I decided to leave but listen around the corner.

"Ok I know you are both confused but George used to be drunk non-stop and I mean it. That was until he finally stoped after a lot of time. Around the time he started smoking. The reason why he acted like that earlier is because. He reaches his limit of overwhelming and he I guess shuts off. He shuts off everything and goes to the one thing he knows how to numb everything, alcohol."

"But how can we help him?"

I hear Clay's worried voice.

"Right now the best is to sober him up. The problem is he has not drank alcohol for more than an year and now he did we have to prevent him if drinking more."

"Me and Wilbur will clean the kitchen from any alcohol we have. Clay you go up and put George in the bath with cold water than dry him and put him to bed. "

They all agreed with my brother's plan. I heard someone coming up the stairs so I tried silently as possible to run to the bathroom. A second later Clay walks through the door. He looks at me and I truely cannot read his face.

He closes the door behind himself and we are alone in the room. No one dares to say a word. I was not as drunk as everyone thought but what's the harm in letting them think I'm blackout drunk.

"Why?"

I look up and decide to be honest part of the decision is controlled by the alcohol but not so much.

"It hurts. It hurts me how I fuck everything up. Wilbur had this look in his eyes earlier. He was disappointed by me. And when I saw it I knew I hurt him. So the only thing I was able to think about was how much I can hurt the people closest to me. And then I started thinking why be sad when you can be happy just with a couple of sips. My brain was screaming at me so I wanted the alcohol, cause it'll make it all go away."

"George that's not the only way. You have to deal
with it and work through it not drink your problems away."

"When you hate yourself as much as I do you will understand, but there is no way because you are perfect and I am well George the one person that disappoints everyone. "

"You haven't disappointed me. And you could never. Now let's get you sobered up. No need you already did."