Hands | DNF

23.

There is a lump stuck in my throat. I can feel it there. As David drives and I am sat at the passenger seat I nervously fidget with my hands, looking out of the window as we pass by many buildings. The ride was gonna be 15 minutes until we arrived at Dr.Collins'
office downtown.

I had zoned out and only noticed when the car stopped. I looked around only to realize we had arrived. I got out of the car and headed into the building. When we reached the elevator we got in and clicked the 6th floor.

We got off the elevator and I was immediately met with a white waiting room with big windows and a lot of plants. David spoke with the receptionist and we sat down. The windows were from the floor to the ceiling letting a lot of natural light in.

I was anxious as hell and just looked out of the window over the city. I gotta admit the view was stunning.

"George?"

I looked at who was calling my name. I saw a woman motioning for me to follow her. As I got up, I finally swallowed the lump stuck in my throat. We entered what looked like an office and I guessed it was. There was a sofa and a white arm chair. In here there were also huge windows a coffee table with some toys on it. At the corner of the room there was a mini fridge on top of which there were coffee maker, kettle and some mugs.

The woman motioned for me to sit on the couch and so I did.

"Hello George. My name is Emily Collins, but you can just call me Ema."

I finally took a look at her. She was a tall woman wearing some wide black pants and a beige colored jumper.  She had long and straight, ginger hair and her eyes were hazel. Her smile was really warm. I swear the smile immediately melted my nerves.

"Hi! I am George, but you already knew that."

She noticed how anxious I was and she laughed lightly.

"You don't have to be nervous. You are not taking a test and I am not here to judge you. I just want for us to have a chat. You don't have to tell me anything that you are not comfortable with. There are also some things on the table. I want you to pick one to have in our sessions here."

I looked at the table and my eyes immediately landed on a monkey stuffed toy. I thought about getting a fidget cube for a second but I went with the monkey.

"How was your day?"

She smiled at me softly and waited for me to answer.

"It was normal, nothing out of the ordinary."

"Well come on, there has to be something that stood out."

I shook my head no.

"You said normal can you describe to me what a normal day in the life of George looks like?"

"I woke up, went to school, got home and spent some time with my friends and here I am."

"Can you tell me a bit about your friends?"

"Well Nick or as I call him Sapnap, is really funny and loves to joke around and act silly. While Clay or Dream is more charming and caring I guess. I love both of them and I finally get to meet them. They are from America and they flew over here."

"That sounds exciting! How do you feel being around them?"

"I don't know. It just normal. Hanging out with them feels natural but I don't feel any different."

"Why is that? I mean why do you not feel any different. Aren't you excited or joyful they are here?"

"If I have to be honest I haven't felt positive emotions for a really long time. I just don't feel happiness or excitement or anything really."