Hands | DNF

2.

Waking up has never been  my specialty. I love to sleep, that's the one thing I am flawless at. I am woken up by a crash? What was that? I  get up and open the door so I can see what's happening. The second I see it I decide that I do not want to witness my brother having sex on the dining table. Ok, whatever. I go back to sleep but the next time I am woken up is by my alarming abusing my eardrums. I look at my phone just to see that it's 6:40 am. How I hate school. I can go on and on about why not going to school can actually make you a better human. But no one cares, so why should I?

Half asleep I get ready for school and finally I put my sneakers on, grab my keys and head out. I catch my bus and before my first class I make sure to stop by the nearby coffee shop to grab a cup of my favorite hot drink.

When the girl at the counter sees me, she shoots me a quick smile.

"The usual?"

"Well of course! How are you doing today Val?"

"Actually pretty good today I had my favorite cereal so I am in a good mood. What about you? Talked with David yesterday?"

"Nope, he was too busy with a tall brunette yesterday when he got home."

"I see the usual for him as well. All I can do is wish you for a lucky day today."

She hands me my cup and I quickly head to school, but not before saying goodbye. As I walk to school, I notice the pun Valarie wrote to me today. This is our thing, every morning she writes a stupid cat pun on my cup and usually I return the favor by leaving a note with a dog one every morning.

Today's Pun:
Have a PAWsome day!

I enter the school and head straight to my first class English!

The school day goes as normal, nothing big. After school I made plans with Will to hangout.

"Wanna come over so we can order food and play Minecraft on my PlayStation or watch a movie?"

"Yeah that sounds good."

"Ok but first I need to buy a new pack of cigarettes because I finished it yesterday!"

"You need to stop them, if your brother knew he would kill you."

"Not if they kill me before that."

"Not funny!"

I've been friends with Wilbur for the past 8 years. He was there when my mom was diagnosed and stuck with me the whole time. I would consider him to be my best friend. And he is the only one who knows that I smoke.

After my mom passed I was really bad mentally. I was stuck in this dark place but I didn't let anyone see. I didn't let them see the nights where I hated myself, the nights where I cried and had panic attacks, the nights where I cut my arms and legs because I was addicted to  the pain. I didn't let anyone in and the worse it got the more I wanted to tell but I didn't. I tried to but regretted it.

Then the drinking started. I would drink  all night and when I went to school I was still so drunk that Wilbur  had to take me home along with the drinking came the smoking. It was the one thing that made me relax so I kept doing it. And that stuck with me after everything and I didn't tell anyone even my closest friends like Sapnap and Dream.

We met online but I hate talking about my feelings so I never told them anything. And of course they couldn't find out since they lived in America and I was in England.