It's always there and I am tired of it the feeling of sadness, anxiety and self-hatred. It's there and the moment you think you have gotten better it returns like a reminder that it will always stay with you. It will always be part of your life.
"Guys from tomorrow you do that smoking shit outside. It smells awful!"
Sapnap said pretending to be suffocating.
"I back up Sapnap on this."
Said David as he came closer.
"Also George can we chat? I'll wait for you in my room."
"Give me a minute and I'll be there."
As David went up the stairs I saw Sapnap and Dream giving me the "Someone's in trouble. " look.
I finished my cigarette and headed to my brother's room.
"What do you wanna talk about?"
I say closing the door behind me.
"George you remember the doctor's orders. You have to go to therapy."
"No no no. I don't have to listen to some stranger that says I have to."
"That is not for debate! George you need help. I cannot bear to watch my little brother destroy himself every day."
"I am not destroying anything. I am FINE! I don't need help I am good and I am happy."
I say that with a fake smile.
"Have you hurt yourself again? I just saw some blood on the sink downstairs."
Shit. I thought I cleaned it. There might be a drop I missed shit.
"I had a nose bleed earlier that's all. I am fine and I don't need therapy."
I saw David looking at my hoodie sleeves that I was pulling down a little bit mindlessly.
"George can I see? I love you so much and it pains me to see you like this."
"No, there is nothing wrong with me I am fine. I am not going to this stupid shit."
I practically yell as I turn around opening the door. He runs to stop me and grabs my wrist. The exact place I had cut earlier. I flinch a bit and he notices. I can see that something insides him gets sad and sorrow sets into his eyes.
"You did it again, didn't you? George this is not ok. We have to talk about it get back in the room."
His eyes shooting to the stairs, checking if someone is there.I feel my eyes start to water so I just nob.Once back in the room. David brings the arm he was holding towards him and with his other hand he drags the sleeve up. Upon his eyes landing on my arm he starts to sob. All he does is pull me in a hug.
"This is what I mean George. You need help! Please, I can't bear the thought that one day I can lose you because of this. You have an appointment with Dr. Collins tomorrow at 4pm. Please go! Do this for me and your friends. We all love you so much."
At this point I was crying as well.
"I am scared Dave."
That was the first time I was honest with myself. I am scared. I am scared of myself. And what I could do to myself.
YOU ARE READING
Hands | DNF
RomanceBottling everything up is a specialty of George's, since he had been doing it for the past 4 years. One day everything crumbled and it all started to come out. All of his friends get worried . Honestly what can go wrong with meeting his friend of 8...
