Hands | DNF

13.

When we get home I run straight to my room and lock the door sliding down with my back against it. The whole car ride my brain was yelling at me at how much of a failure I am. Wilbur's face was stuck in my head. I hate to disappoint the people who are closest to me and yet I do it. I always do it. I always fuck everything up. The tears were running down my face. I couldn't keep it in. I really wanted to feel the blade sliding through my skin. The pain that makes everything better. I needed it. As I was thinking about it there was a knock behind me.

"George are you ok? Why is your door locked? Wilbur told me to check on you he had to take a call."

Fuck Wilbur probably doesn't even want to look at me he cannot bare looking at me.

"George please open the door."

I just couldn't say anything I was stuck in my brain. It was yelling so loud I couldn't hear anything around me all I know is that Clay was banging on the door because my back felt it. Nothing, I don't want to continue this life. I wanna go to mom.

Something in me switched in me I got up still crying and becoming short of breath. I unlock the door and open it. I am faced with really worried looking Clay.

He is talking to me. But I can't hear anything I am in my head and I am on a mission. I push past him and just continue and so do the tears.

I walk down the stairs. As I get down I see Wilbur enter the house from the backyard. We lock eyes for a second before I turn the corner and head straight into the kitchen. I open the cupboard and pull out a bottle of Vodka. I open it and just bring the bottle to my lips. I take a huge gulp and after that I turn around. I see Wilbur holding Clay back who looks like every second he is gonna explode. I look at them for a second and try to focus. Finally I can hear them. I can hear Clay yelling at me to respond that I am ok. Meanwhile Wilbur who has seen this before tries to calm him. I take another shot straight from the bottle and I start to feel the first one. Not eating is the easiest way to get drunk. The tears have stoped and I look at both of them and put the biggest smile ever.

"Wilbur go easy on him. You remember what you were like."

"George what the fuck?! Are you ok? Why are you acting this way?"

"What way?"

"I don't know just so strangely you weren't responding and now all if a sudden you are the happiest person alive even tho I can still see your red eyes. "

Apparently my luck is that amazing that as Clay yells at me. My brother walks in to see the entire scene fold out before him.

"George, I would like to know that as well."

Now everyone turned to face David.