Sophomore soliloquies

Part 3: Grey Skies and Love Ties

9/18/2023 poetry class

From the outside looking in
I thought school lacked humanity. Mybe that was me.
Is there freedom to showing up with your worst self so effortlessly? Lack of sleep without preparation. Celsius drinks without jumps to present them, your reasons for showing up with self worth in the clouds. There's freedom to being an athlete,
But there's BEING in being
Yourself.
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Cross the bridge when I get there

Usually it's all slow motion. The music. The moment the times I was broken but this time the silence. Like a blackout like a crowd. Drowning out all sound.
This time I don't remember what song was playing
I remember the feeling of dancing
Of swaying, and laughing
Don't remember the little details of the forest or a photo.
I remember the feeling of winning all solo.
It's different so I won't perceive it as much
Hoping the odds weigh nothing when I touch
For fear it will shatter
A feeling so light
Elated fragility
Once frightened
Run it might.
So I keep it cool and chilled
Untill feelings are fulfilled
Until then I sit back and relax
Let things unfold as they will.
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For this next poem I'm going to change the names of the people in it.  Tooo ummm
KD and Annie cause idk if they'll ever stumble upon this.  I'll leave the end blank cause KD doesn't really rhyme the way I want it to. But if you don't refute, you can yourself compute, the real names of this poem. Wrote it cause I thought it was cute.
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9/19/2023 4;22am

The sweethearts

I want to be someone's Annie.
If I ever got with KD I know he'd always go back to his Annie
His muse
His Betty
His goddess
He worships the ground she walks on
Lights up when she steps into a room
He asks girls what they like
And says thanks for the great date advice
Always looked for more ways to please her
Saying there are more men like him out there. 
Where?
I want to be somebody's Annie
The way he stared into her eyes and never lets them go.
The way he grabs her waist and hoists her onto his lap
The way she barely smiles but he can make her giggle in a monotone
A way only he knows
Said I was too good for him
This I now know to be true
Through his plights of college saying to his ex
"no one compares to you"
one day they will be married Highschool sweethearts. The perfect two. 
And where am I left to stand.
But looking for my KD.  Not him in reality but in a metaphor.
A man who takes responsibility,
makes an effort
Dances more.
Plays old songs and gives me the headphones
Comments on the way I tap dance to myself waiting at events
Never had eyes for any other.
I'll be his goddess
His muse
He bows and kisses my shoes.
Weather dirty or clean
No matter how messy it may seem. One day I'll find a love that is true.
Like the unconditional love I witnessed between Highschool sweethearts Annie  and... 
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Shoe laces

Four walls and familiar spaces
People walk by me as I tie my shoe laces
At similar speeds
They March with great paces
The drum of my heel echos through their faces.
The cracks in concrete
Skidding a mark in their chime and sameness. I dance along the sidewalk. No longer in their good graces.
The campus is monotone a bit more noir
However I'm painting it new colors breaking old patterns by far.  Like old chipped nail polish a style all it's own
Making this space mine
A place I can call home.
Burrow inside the warmth of the cast
Mybe this time. The surface will last
To pave a new road isn't new to me
But I hate getting the supplies
Sometimes I get greedy.
Everyone else likes the old cracked road.
I'm ready for changes
Preparing for snow. 
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