Sophomore soliloquies

Part:9 Concert Hall

Walk

The push of the grass under my feet
The shell of the clouds over my face
Shadows shine behind the light
Skid marks in pavement
Sharpen through time

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Worthy?

I wonder if the blooming orange flowers shining brightly,
in dark autumn skies question whether they're worthy to do so?

I wonder if lavender feels it falls short of being tea,

I wonder why I wonder if I'm good enough to reap benefits of opportunity's I've gotten seemingly handed to me.
My hard work falls behind my conscious
I wonder, I wonder something more
Everytime I open one I look for a new door explaining to me just what I'm here for. Never looking at the hallways.
Wooden and crooked creaking floors.
Stairs and bookshelf's I've never looked in.
By sprinting from room to room.
Why am I standing here. Has someone let me in. To this mansion of opportunity I don't know how to live in.
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10/21/1:15am

My emotions are entangled
They wrap around me like a Kite
My sincerity's been strangled in these leaves I have to fight
Falling high above the branches
Feelings high above the clouds
Explosions bring me earthbound
Dirt and compressions only sound
Rewound
The record
Stop the tape
Cut the blade before it's too late
Little nicks and tears mean nothing to you. I cannot explain how deeply I feel every scratch
Every bruise
Widening eyes
Ones you use
Closeness gone
In the end
We both used
Why am I the one
Burned
Smokey and blue
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A Walk in the concert hall

Ripples
of rain
onto the
Road
No one knows where each raindrop will go
Some on my screen
Some on my feet
Dripping off of rooftops
Dropping on plantlings,

Cords of vines sipping thier wine to keep up thier climb
Denim is darkened
Splashes under cars opposing winds
Speeding or stillness
Exist in indecision
An applause
has erupted
Dancing leaves in the crowd
Umbrellas over suits
Jackets over ties
Why shield yourself
from these truths by comfortable lies.
I don't feel the cold
reflecting light back
Rivers on pavements
Stop lights declined
nothing can stop
The trickle of drops
The damp soggy leaves
The chorus of wind whistling in the trees
Running down the pipe
Filling up the cracks
Orange seasons natures bath
Brick stone sidewalks
Sparkle in the day
Lush green
Dew drops
Drink the mossy grass away
Glisten in the night
Like stars in the sky the world is its stage echoes heard from all sides
A twinkling
reflection of
Old road
Streetlights
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2:28am 10/23/2023
Friction

I'm chained to the ice
It won't let me go
I'm wondering nowhere in an endless snow globe
Each music piece a memory
Each muscle memory a story
Woven into my very being wishing to re emerge
Why can't I surrender these chains
Why do they grip my skin
I can't feel my arms
I can't feel my legs
Patience for a new passion wearing thin
No.
That's not right. It's not just the ice
I need a new story to tell
One with just as much grit as before
I need a safe place I can fall
When things don't go as fulfilled
I need to embrace a meditative state
To stray from the past and find a new date
The ice is the toxic ex you always want to run back to
Too much passion can burn
And too much friction can melt you.