Maybe Dionnas right
Maybe Dionnas right
I'm being pushy
Push away I might
He won't show true colors
If you paint them all in
Red
And if you rush into battle
There's no plan ahead
No where to begin
Maybe Dionnas right
Maybe a hopeful start of romance ends in another fight
Right cause isn't that the pattern
Isn't that the gist
That every shot that I don't take is another that I've missed
Kissed on the third date
Pissed if I'm ghosted today
Wonder if he'll want me to stay
So maybe
Maybe Dionnas right
But she has a bleak look on stuff
Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic
Looking for my one true love
——————————————————————
3:24 am 4/2/2024
Career
Time ticks on time clocks
Ripped to pieces through the knot
Every camera on every thought
Forgot to not let this be fraught
If I drown in the tick of the seas of time
If I swim through the numbers and tock of the vine
Climb through the meadows of fluorescent lights and concrete floors
Will I still be myself anymore
If I hold a boom Mike till my arm falls asleep
If I act like my dying when I'm dying from lack of sleep
When the cold winter air pierces adventure from the scare and you are the one that cared but when I need you aren't there
Fair
Crates and boxes to fit in
Labels labeled never thin
Now I'm being told I'm great
This shouldn't ever make or break my day my
Faith is strong in my own self
They took the pawns off of the shelf
And moved them Monaically
This pawns become a Queen
But she doesn't know what she brings
A foreign concept in a land of kings
Examining her power
Practicing her streaghnth
The queen of chess
The most powerful
She will not be second guessed
And through the portal of all realms remains the Queen without her crown
From rags to riches
Never matters it's the same
any life
She's the Queen of the chess board cutting through all space and time
Causing
The tick of a clock
The tock of the vine
A moment present
She's passing through time
———————————————————————-
3:28am
Clingy
How does it feel to not be held tonight
Like your still holding me
————————————————-
3:52 Uber
Latin song on the radio
Al moldo mio
Spanish songs in my ears
Latin dancing in my heart
Please tell me I'm not obsessed please reassure and we'll restart
Something new I just don't know
I'm in an Uber into the unknown
I can't relate
I don't understand
Why does the start of a relationship feel like I'm sinking in quicksand
I don't understand this I've never had one before
I can understand being polite and holding the door
Goodnight and good mornings are complimentary
I get so flustered every time you stare at me.
I think I want this
I think I do
I think I like you
But what is this to you
True
I can't even pin point what this is to me
Where's the adventure that we had
Those first few meetings of spontaneity
Went out 3 times before we kissed
Hey we flirted forever a little like this
Some hushed up banter
Light touches and dance
You say you like me submissive
But you blush when I'm the one to make demands
And when I take your hand
Take a chance
And when I take charge
Guess you don't know yourself as well as you think you do
Maybe I'm magical
Maybe this is all still new
Maybe. Maybe it's not true
Maybe you wanted ny city lights and I'm blocking your view
Or maybe I'm the one
Who will go to second guess
I find myself in this new comfort
When everything else in my life is a mess
It's a foreign feel of safety
And this flexibility and streaghnth
It's an understanding I'm not used to
It's a new person in the same place
So tell me
Let me know
But don't surprise me
In No Ho
I can't wrap my head around
But trust me I'll try
Someone who likes me for me
Without their own benefits
Just using to get by
Like a drug
Or am I
Too confused by this feeling that's fuzzy inside
And like warm butterfly's
And I don't know why I'd question
When it's what I've wanted for so long
I don't want to lose myself in our song
Did I get the lyrics wrong
In the correspondence between.
The space between you and me
It's short and tight
Not even letting light slip by
I don't want to suffocate
It was to enlight
So please tell me let me know
Am I doing this right?
———————————————————
11:28pm 4/8/2024
Lose you
Violin and soft music
Bubbles floating towards the heat
Wonder if comfort is thrilling
Wondering if softness is me
Neatly completely recontextualizing
The story of love and glory
Can hardness be sweet
Can warmth be complete
When de stressors stress you out and your not used to me
Effortlessly
A buzzing bee
Annoying in my ear
Or is it the gentle buzz
The tipsy smudge of lipstick on the glass of beer
Smeared across the tip of the glass
I know I repeat it but will this really last
Or will blasts from my past
Make me fast or reclass
My attention in suspension. Need a therapist for that
Trying to block out the sun of intrusion of thoughts an eclipse of battling Witt's please please can I just have this
The desperation fills my heart please let me have Justice for my starving art
Of performances that are only meant for one person to see
And with this I equalize and restore my energy
The ball of curiosity and passion residing in me
The futures unforetold
Yet here to myself I scold
Wondering if I shouldn't have told
I guess I'm always bold
With one wrong word or movement sold
Into the future into the unknown
An elementary school drop out too educated on loss of love
Please tell me this one lasts
And that I'm not last
That I'm not wrong
That if I can't understand my feelings what matters is something else
No matter what we think or say we know it's not meant to crash
For me for you
Please tell me what to do when you don't respond
And I just go along because I just
Don't want to
Lose
You.
YOU ARE READING
Sophomore soliloquies
PoetryIf you've ever felt burdened by being a sophomore in college your not alone. I'm writing these and posting them as I go along. So we can feel less alone together, in a complicated world, within a song. Please feel free to comment, critique, or ask...
