Sophomore soliloquies

Part 5: Soul Searching

Comet

Do setbacks make life worth living
Is this all part of the plot
Do setbacks make time permitting
Starting actions where there were not
Inciting these incidents
Not  just coincidences
Catalysts paining me
Fires are flaming the
House burning down
The climb is spellbound
I'm trapped on the hill
Never to come down
Do setbacks make life worth living?
Is this all just part of the plot
Giving my life more meaning
Stifling plateus and puddles and knots
Untying and flying and waving the strings
Cutting and weaving
And so many things
My life in the hands of these unknown forces
Storytellers of their own bosses sewing other universes
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Group projects
10/2/2023
We are one unit so what are they
Writing in a confused slew what to do
Try to be one success only allotted to some
Only one can be wonderful
Out of just so many things...
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Quiet

When tiredness and sadness mesh together in wet eyes
When dawn and dusk collide in pink skies
When night and day is unknown up high
Time stands still, just as time flies.
The stillness of nothing
A pond far away
Illusion of movement
The quiet between night and day
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10/2/2023
My day so far
Had all this caffeine but I'm crashing
I'm not lashing out I'm just lashing
Got time on my hands
Procrastinating
Is this what it's like to be
Un complicated
Perfectionism rebelled against
Doing nothing out of spite
Guess that's still doing something
Nothing stabs you from behind
Nothing worth it's worth the fight
When all you've done is just survive
The last years giving out my life
Swept under me shattered the light
Trudging through molasses
Where are all my classes
Blurry eyes deceive my cries to lies of patient glasses
Lenses tainted poison screen
Dipped in past bleached with chlorine
See through this messed up dripping scene
Feel like I've lost my sanity's
a
Fragile thing trudge through days never ending
time
Immortal mortal fines
Debt forming in a climb
The mountain of my own subconscious torturous Design
Even tarteras has lines  waiting to be defined one by one
While I'm locked up among the scum
Never worthy of their time 
Behind closets glass and wine
Put on glasses existentially
Move through a melancholy
Disaster seems to follow me
View the world upside down
Forever chained  I'm skipping town
Running from my
Problems
Stolen no I borrowed them
Excuses broken promises
A mundane plane of lawlessness  
A never ending
Wait
eternal madness
To be great
Fate
The date
To make
A slate
Written
In unknown dialect
This is the way I view the world
Through miss spelled words
And broken promises
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Thoughts

All my thoughts exist as poems
Yet I can't write them all down
The burden of lost words
The footprints of golden sound
Treading on uneven ground
Memories dissolve like a dream
When you wake
When it rumbles and shakes
My minds an earthquake
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I notice

Captain Jack sparrow
Why do you sleep in class,
Will you be my partner for the project we can film out on the grass
A pirate in stature
You raise your arms instead
Captain Jack sparrow what goes on inside your head
A collard beige shirt
A silver neckline chain
Captain Jack sparrow
Just sailing through his life again
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