12/9/2023 12:31am
Sidewalks.
The road is red. And it's grey. And it's baege in a way.
It's twisted
And snapped.
And cracked
In a way
But I'm left on the sidewalk
While others play
When will I find a home
To stay
To belong in a place
That doesn't isolate
A warm comfy hug.
Tears fall above
Snapped and sprained
Squashed small bug.
The road less traveled.
Sometimes alone
It's sucks.
Hope I get to the end.
This destiny's hard
Guess every protagonist
Gets a little bit scarred.
——————
Breathless
12/11/2023 3:47pm
The heavier I breathe
The faster it leaves
Does it drift to my past
Arm me with what I need.
Most people grow up
They say you evolve
Why have I devolved into something so small
Used to speak in front of thousands
Now I recede into my shell
Used to sing out from my stomach
stand there breathless
Quick short beats
Hands are shaking
One forgets
Have my lungs traveled back in time
To give me streaghnth I needed
Am I left with a grip on my memories
How do I let go
Of this past
Last - to -last years
Back to back annual rhymes
If I can't move on I fear
I'll never get a ticket
To that present train ride
I'll be floating in the ocean
Drowning in memories
Falling behind.
Lost at sea
Breathlessly
My past has robbed me blind
I kick and fight
I swim, paddle, and bite
drowning in debt from my pasts
Last
Fine
———————————-
1:59am 12/13/2023
Leads.
Intrusive dreams
Intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive moments
From what I'm taught
While I'm with someone I should like
I ponder what I'm really like
Sometimes I ask myself
Is this what lust feels like?
Because I feel nothing
In those moments.
Some nights are when the thoughts come play.
Fantasize fictional characters
Lgbtqia
Am I too scared to come around
Or am I wrong in listening to this constant ringing sound
Whenever I'm out in the situation
I have a guy over
Or an infatuation the minute it starts
Is the minute I leave
And then I feel nothing gaining what lead?
This is all I have to go on
This is all I have to say
So many guys I forget their names
But I look at some woman a different way.
Tell me what I'm supposed to do
Questioning my attraction and who it's too
Why should I be asking
When I don't have any game
Bisexual or not
It's not like I've got anyone to love anyways.
I've gotten better at saying things outright
I could hide behind some metaphor
Some cloth I've sewn together to make a perfectly invisible yet colorful cloak.
A hidden king isolated from society pondering why a scream slices through their windows. Wondering if the glass has shattered below.
If it's harmed someone.
Has it?
Doesn't know what he's done.
But ignorant to it all.
The hustle and bustle
And normal common conversation.
Trying to include looked like an intrusion
Barging in not wanted.
I wonder if that's why he stays alone.
Never knowing if the glass has broken on the ground.
Too scared to go down to clean it.
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YOU ARE READING
Sophomore soliloquies
PoetryIf you've ever felt burdened by being a sophomore in college your not alone. I'm writing these and posting them as I go along. So we can feel less alone together, in a complicated world, within a song. Please feel free to comment, critique, or ask...
