19 | minsung

40

soft hums and the rhythmic tapping of feet reverberated in the enclosed room. the space was filled with musical instruments — a mixer, piano, microphones, headphones, and a laptop, alongside two men swiveling on their chairs.

chan took off his headphones, a satisfied smile on his face after finalizing the track he had composed. he turned to changbin beside him, who was engrossed in his phone.

"what day is it today?" chan began, his foot lightly tapping changbin's chair to get his attention.

his question lingered until changbin finally replied, a touch of melancholy in his voice, "it's the 20th."

chan leaned back in his chair with a heavy sigh, "how long has it been..." his voice trailed off, carrying the weight of unspoken memories.

"almost a year," changbin responded quietly.

silence fell between them, the studio's soundproof walls echoing the solemn air. then, changbin broached a sensitive topic.

"hyung... shouldn't we tell minho about this?" changbin suggested, placing his phone down on the table, signaling the seriousness of the conversation.

chan sighed, running his fingers through his hair, visibly burdened by the weight of both their work and the gravity of the subject at hand. "changbin, you know that's a sensitive subject within the group. we all agreed to stop discussing it–" his sentence was interrupted by changbin's interjection.

"but it's just the two of us here. he's not around. there's no reason why we shouldn't talk about it," changbin expressed, frustration evident in his tone, as if dissatisfied with the group's avoidance of the matter.

chan straightened his posture, relenting. "okay... i'll hear you out," he said, trying to mask the guilt in his voice.

"all i'm saying is, shouldn't minho at least know? he's part of our group now. and jeongin, i know how much you want him back, but you're not doing anything! you're just letting his hatred toward us grow," changbin urged, observing how chan slumped in his seat, guilt washing over his face.

"it's risky to involve minho. what if he brings up the subject suddenly when we're together? and jeongin... seungmin's watching over him. i can't do much when he grows hostile, even to seungmin, when they used to be close," chan explained, rubbing his temple as stress built up.

"risky or scared he'll side with jeongin and blame us? chan, i know we're at fault, but you're shouldering the burden alone! i've seen how the guilt gnaws at you, how much you want jeongin back, but you're trapped by your own guilt. your decision to pretend it never happened for his sake is weighing you down," changbin scolded, leaning in, his eyes welling with frustrated tears.

"you might be the oldest, but that doesn't mean you carry all our worries. we're all responsible in some way. i was his roommate, yet i couldn't prevent it..." changbin's voice trailed off as he slumped back in his seat.

a stifled sob broke the heavy silence, drawing changbin's attention. he glanced at chan, who had bowed his head, blond strands veiling his face. but changbin couldn't miss the glimmer of tears falling onto the older boy's lap.

"changbin... i was the one who made the decision to never mention the incident again for... his sake. jeongin has every right to be angry at me for that. i was the oldest in the group, it was my role to watch over all of you and make sure... no one got hurt," chan began, his voice trembling with each word.

"but my negligence made it happen... i know i shouldn't blame myself, but i can't shake off feeling the most responsible for letting our group fall into despair like this. i was so desperate to keep us together, to make sure no one felt responsible for what happened, that i pretended it never happened. and obviously, that angered jeongin," he continued, his voice heavy with regret.