19 | minsung

42

"lixie... am i not pleasuring you enough? why aren't you looking at me, baby..."

"ji, n-no, that's not it. i'm just really tired right now. you're still good in bed."

"o-oh... is that so? i-i'm sorry for forcing this on you."

"no, no, jisungie, you didn't force this on me. i-i thought maybe by having sex, i could release some stress, but... i'm just really tired right now. i'm sorry."

"oh... i'm sorry, baby. i'll go pull out now."

"sungie, no, you don't have to."

"it's okay, lixie. go rest, you're tired."

"jisung..."

"i'll go back to the dorm now, mhm? you go rest. i love you, sunshine."

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"jisung... i can't keep lying to myself anymore... to you."

"i'm just... starting to slowly get used to the feeling that you're not always beside me, and... i'm really sorry."

"jisung, you didn't do anything wrong. it's just that... maybe we really aren't meant to be with each other."

"jisung..."

"i don't think we'll ever go back to what we used to be, ji... please just focus on your studies."

"..."

"fine, let's give it one more chance. but, jisung... i can't assure you anything, okay? so if ever, please just give up."

"i don't want to hurt you further."

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"jisung, enough."

"i really appreciate your efforts, but baby, you just keep hurting yourself. i even heard from seungmin that you're already failing multiple classes."

"i'm really sorry, jisung, but enough is enough. it's my fault for even giving you this chance."

"jisung... please... just please give up! give up on me, give up on us!"

"you're not only hurting yourself, but you're hurting me now too! i don't have the heart to see you like this when it's all because of me!"

"jisung, please, please, please just focus on yourself first. i'm begging you, everyone's starting to get worried."

"just accept the fact i don't love you anymore, that our love wasn't meant for eternity!"

"i'm really sorry, but it's for the best."

jisung stood in front of the mirror, topless, his pants loosely hanging around his hips, exposing his v-line. minho had already gone to class, leaving jisung alone.

he stared blankly at his reflection in the mirror, noticing fresh additions to the blood trickling down his head. this time, open cavities marred his body—on his face, chest, arm, and abdomen—revealing his bones as if he was in a state of decay.

jisung raised his hand, clutching his own jaw, turning his head to observe the exposed area that revealed the hollow inside of his mouth.

"i need... to feed," he muttered, violently letting go of his own jaw as his eyes went back to his distorted reflection.

"other people's energy... i want to kill," he continued, his voice low, raspy, and unrecognizable.

he traced his hand over his built body, stopping on his chest where his heart should be. the skin and muscle were gone, revealing long, pristine, hard organs composed of connective tissues.

"i'm... growing weak," he continued to mutter in his ominous voice.

"i need to grow strong to be together with minho hyung for eternity..." he said, inserting his finger into the hollow opening on his chest, feeling the rigid surfaces of the bones.

"i want to ki–" before he could finish the sentence, a headache intensified, prompting him to bend his body down, clutching his head firmly, his eyes shutting.

"FUCKKK!" he screamed in exasperation, his ominous voice reverting back to normal.

"I DON'T WANT TO HURT ANYONE!" he continued to scream, as if someone in front of him was compelling him to harm others.

jisung sank to his knees, overwhelmed by the pressure in his head, gradually curling into a ball. "i-i don't want to be... an evil spirit."

after some time, the headache began to subside, and he stood up, frantically checking his body to see if it had returned to its normal state.

when he felt the skin on his body instead of hollow openings, he turned to the mirror once again to confirm it.

relief washed over jisung as he saw that his appearance had reverted back to normal—his jaw no longer revealing an open cavity, his chest covered by skin rather than visible bones.

however, the relief was swiftly replaced by fear. if he could still produce sweat and his heart was beating, then he was probably drenched in sweat at the moment, his heart racing in his chest.

"i-i don't want to hurt..." he muttered, bringing his hand close to his face as he looked down at it with shaking eyes.

"i don't want to turn evil..." he continued, and if tears were to fall from his eyes, a torrent of them would have already descended.

suddenly, the gentle light in his eyes reverted back to sinister ones, narrowing into a glare.

"but i need minho hyung..." jisung mumbled, clenching his hand into a fist.

"he's the only one that could fill the void in my heart..." at that moment, his appearance once again altered, reverting to hollow openings that made his bones visible.

he then placed his hand on the mirror in front of him, his horrifying reflection capable of shocking anyone who beheld it.

"i'd do anything to be with him... forever," he continued, moving his hands in a swiping motion but not completing a full sweep.

"any obstacles in the way..." jisung's voice grew deeper once again, raspy with a sinister expression on his face.

"i will destroy..."

"anyone who acts as a barrier..."

"i will kill."

jisung's appearance in the mirror changed as he wiped his hand fully across the glass surface. the reflection now showed half of jisung's body as normal, while the other half displayed his bones and hollow openings.

"i chose him to be the one who'll accompany me in the afterlife... or maybe in hell," he grinned ominously, bursting into a small laugh that quickly escalated into something sinister.

strong winds began to knock against the window, forcefully opening it and scattering items in minho's room. the wind swirled around the figure standing in front of the mirror, accentuating the openings revealing his insides, especially on his face.

after a while, the intense wind calmed, and jisung walked away from the mirror. his appearance reverted back to normal as he closed the window, his expression now gentle and contrasting with his earlier demeanor.

as he was about to shut the window, he gazed at the shining sun ahead, squinting slightly.

"the sun... looks nice," he mumbled, his eyes fixed forward.

"the weather is nice," he added.

"i wonder if minho could see this right now," jisung said softly, finally closing the window. a small smile spread across his lips at the thought of minho looking outside the window of his class, enjoying the beautiful weather.

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ji's notes!
hi it's 4am and i can't sleep so here's another chappie ig.