Foolish one

Chapter 8

I spent the next week following the same schedule. Waking up, going to practice, attending my classes and then going to bed. It was quite boring, but I had to attend all the classes in the beginning. The teacher wanted everyone there for the first three weeks, after that our attendance was no longer necessary if we showed up and did good on the tests. Then I would actually have some free time. This week was the last when classes were mandatory. I hated going to school because I was always tired from practice which was always right before. After my collapse on the field during training I no longer showered at home. Instead, I showered with everyone else at the training center. That saved me almost an hour every day. I spent that eating something or taking a coffee while studying.

Once I had been joined by Aitana. She spent the entire time wondering how I could solve the equations and if I was a genius.

Today was the first game of the season. I had forced my sister to sleep in my bed. Even though I had attended therapy twice this season, forced by my sister, I still had nightmares. We talked about them, and why they happened. The lady had upped the dosage of my anxiety meds and that was working better to keep everything under control. Every Wednesday the two of us talked about the past week and anything else that was on my mind. It helped me a lot, more than I would ever admit.

I took the bus to our training grounds. For once I was wearing regular clothes. I was in a white dress with a red sweater over. I added my docs and a necklace with a four-leaf clover that I had gotten from my mom before she passed. My hair was loose, and the curls were visible. I thought I looked good. So did a few of the other girls, I got several compliments on my outfit.

This was not the first time I was nervous ahead of a game. At least I wasn't alone. Ottilia was sat next to me on the bus, and I could feel her hand shaking. "Tranquila, relax and breathe. We have nothing to be worried about. It's all going to be fine." I told her. Well, I mostly told myself. I was worried, even though I would be on the bench. Our coach had informed me yesterday that I would be coming on in the 70th minute. "It's hard. I don't understand how you can be so calm." Ottilia answered. "Trust me, I'm not. I'm freaking out internally and doing breathing exercises that my therapist is recommending. That is not me being calm." I responded, my breathing getting faster by every second. It didn't help that we were on a bus, and I constantly got sick on buses. Only when I was nearing my period though. But I couldn't be. That would be awful.

"Can you tell me one off them, please?" she asked. I could hear the panic in her voice. That was probably why she understood me at training last week. Because she also had panic attacks. "Breath in through your nose for five seconds and then out through your mouth for five seconds. I'll give you one of my headphones so you can focus on something else, okay? Just follow what I'm doing." I explained in a shaky voice. We sat there for the rest of the journey, breathing slowly while focusing on the music. I always had trouble with managing my anxiety before games. People rarely noticed since I was almost always sitting with Ona last season.

Ons
good luck today isa

Ons
i believe in you

Ons
up for a facetime after?

Me
thank you ons, i'll call when i'm on my way home

Ons
love you isa

We got to the arena way to quickly. I made my way out of the bus and there were so many photographers there that wanted a picture of us arriving. We were all dressed in matching tracksuits and my curly hair was up in a ponytail. I needed to braid it in the changing room before the game. "You're going to do great Elisa. Don't be nervous." Alexia said when we were walking out on the field for a pitch inspection. "That's easy for you to say. You are always great." I complained to her. "Well, so are you. I've seen you at practice. I've played against you at practice, and you are so hard to get past." she said. Encouraging me while pulling me in for a hug. "Thank you, Ale." I mumbled against her shoulder. "Don't worry Isa. If there's anything on your mind I'm always there to talk." she said while kissing the top of my head. "Gracias por todo Ale." I smiled at her, and her arms brought me comfort. My breathing got slower and the thoughts racing in my head got fewer. She believed in me.

At half time we were up by 4-0. "Get ready to go on, we're putting you on after half time along with Aitana." our coach said. That was not the plan. The plan was for me to play twenty minutes, not forty-five. Breath slower Isa. In for five, out for five. And repeat.

Together me and Aitana warmed up, we passed the ball between us and ran a bit. My sleeves were on under the kit and the bib we all were forced to wear. This would be my first time playing with the number two for the A-team. All my other games had been with number 53. Now I was finally part of the team. "You'll do amazing Isa, I promise." Aitana said with a smile as we stood on the side-lines. "So will you Tana." I responded with a big grin. I was still nervous, but most of all I was excited.

Our teammates ran past us out on the field and stood in a group huddle. Soon enough we could join them. They all high-fived me. Wishing me luck for the game. "I believe in you Isa, go out and do your best. That is more than enough." Alexia said before letting me go to my position in the backline beside Mapí. The next forty-five minutes passed in a blur. I managed to assist Alexia for a goal. We ended up winning with 9-0. I did some tackles stopping the other team from scoring and when it was over, I had the biggest smile on my face.

I quickly made my way towards my family, taking off my shirt on the way there. "Here you go sweeties. How did you think I played?" I asked while handing them my shirt. "You played amazing. Can you sign it for us?" my small nieces asked me while jumping up to hug me. "Of course, but you need to get down first." I said. They obliged quickly and handed me a pen to sign I for them.

I stood there for several minutes, talking to my siblings. More players made their way to the family and friend's zone. "If you want other people to sign the shirt you have to ask them yourselves, okay?" I told the two young spectators. They were quick to ask everyone who came close to us. I left them after a while, making my way to the fans who were there. I signed a few things before going back to my family.

On the way there I was stopped by Alexia who pulled me in for a hug. "Thank you for that assist Isa, you played as amazing as I thought you would." she said. Her words made me smile bigger than I usually did. "You played great Ale. Would you maybe do me a favour and sign the shirt I gave my nieces?" I asked her. "Of course, Isa" she said and together we walked towards my family.

Alicia and Maria excitedly told me about all the players who had talked to them. They were very excited to meet Alexia, but Maria's favourite was of course Mapí. The two of them shared the same name and for an eight-year-old that is amazing. Alexia spent several minutes talking to my nieces, and I couldn't believe that she stayed long enough to talk to them after signing their shirt.

When she left to talk to her own family Maria showed me everyone who had signed her shirt proudly. But I couldn't concentrate on that. Ottilia was standing alone in the middle of the field. I brought her with me and almost forced her to talk to my family. It was her debut, and she needed some cheering up. She was handed Sofia and soon enough she was talking to Daniela about Sweden and her home. Ottilia flashed me a grateful smile and we all had that light conversation until we needed to go into the changing room to shower.

It was a great day to make a debut. Our coach gave me a lot of praise and we all sang along to songs in the shower. Being at Barcelona was like having a family. It was easy to talk to everyone and fit in with the group.

Daniela drove me home and I went to bed to talk to Ona. We spent two hours talking about my debut and then discussing hers that would happen tomorrow. The two of us also talked about Ona's new crush, I had to admit that she was hot. Very much Ona's type. I was happy for her. My best friend was doing amazing in Madrid.

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How strange is it that I get so much easier motion sick on buses when I'm on my period? Like to the point where I'm almost throwing up. I'm speaking from experience unfortunately.

Do you have any weird things that happen when you are on your period?

You all are getting spoiled with chapters at the moment. That is what happens when you are sick and suddenly you have nine drafts for this book. So prepare yourself for better updates. Should I be studying instead of writing? Probably. Will I do it? Probably not. 

Remember to hit that little star!! 

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