Foolish one

Chapter 58

We tried once again. This time was the worst. I spent hours crying in Alexia's embrace. "Whatever happens I will be here with you" Alexia said as she held me. "What if I can't get pregnant Ale? Is there something wrong with me? Am I being punished for something I did?" I asked her desperately. "Don't think like that because you aren't. There is nothing wrong with you. You are perfect. I have a feeling this will be the cycle when we finally get pregnant" she answered.

Luckily, this happened over Christmas break. It was on the seventeenth that the embryo was implanted inside me. This meant that I only had four days when I needed to be at training or when I needed to play. Something I was grateful for as my emotions were all over the place. The weight of our failed cycles was on my shoulders.

I felt like I was ruining everything for Alexia. She was such an amazing person and I hated that she had to be with me as I struggled. If she had been with someone else the embryo might have stuck on the first try, and she wouldn't have had to deal with the emotional wreck that was me.

It was obvious to me that she knew something was not right with me. Her careful way of talking, making sure to avoid the difficult subjects and reassuring me when everything was too much. We did a lot of things to distract ourselves from the looming cloud that was whether we would get pregnant or not.

Alexia and I celebrated Christmas together in our apartment. The last years we had been with her family, but I wanted to be alone with her. My feelings were all too much to see a happy family when I couldn't get one. Alexia, being the angel that she always was, agreed with me and we celebrated Christmas together. Falling asleep early and going out to practice football. Hopefully, we would have another person to celebrate with next year, our child.

New Year's Eve was the same thing, except that I had gotten food poisoning that day. I spent the day with my head in the toilet, with Alexia sitting beside me.

"You should go to the party. I know how much you wanted to do that" I said with a weak voice. "I would much rather stay here with you and watch a movie" she answered. And that was what we did. We spent New Year's Eve on the couch, watching old reruns of Friends. As always, we ate the grapes, a tradition that was important to the two of us, but also to most of Spain.

Before going to bed we decided to take a pregnancy test. The wait was the worst. I had a feeling it would be negative once again. Seeing the words not pregnant again would be devastating. Five minutes passed so slowly. Alexia held me the entire time. I could feel my entire body shake with nervousness, but at least Alexia was also shaking. She was just as nervous as me, and for some reason that calmed me down.

"I don't think I can look at it" I said as the timer rang. The nausea was back again. It felt like the grapes would make an appearance again. "How about I turn it around and we look at it together?" Alexia offered. "Do you really want to touch it? I peed on that" I said. It was my final try to get us not to look at it. To make the heartbreak wait for another day when I was due at the hospital for a blood test. "I do" Alexia answered.

It was real now. She would turn it around and we would find out that this try had failed.

The suspense was high, and tears streamed down my face. Alexia turned around and that was when we read the words we had been waiting for.

Pregnant 1-2 weeks

I was pregnant. Alexia and I were having a child. On the first day of the new year, we found out that we would be having a child if everything went according to plan.

"We need to test again. What if it is a false positive?" I asked. Five minutes later we turned the second test around.

Pregnant 1-2 weeks