The Joker And The Fool

5.(1) The joke is on you

5.1

Diana dared not to look at the Joker, even though they spent so many times together. She was burdened with this secret that she had sworn to herself to keep. Now that she thought of it, she realised how many times she had but almost murdered Bruce. It made her sick to her stomach. And each and every time that she saw Joker's hatred for the Batman, thus for Bruce, she grew unspeakably fearful that something might happen to him. She wondered that if perhaps she told him about Bruce, he would lose his interests in the Batman, for there was a sort of anti-climactic feel about his identity. But then again, she must have already known who he truly was. What else had she wondered him to do all those years ago? What else could explain the state of both his mind and his body? Every waking moment she thought of it, the more she understood the complexity of his mind. She understood that she had once underestimated him for being weak, which he truly was not. Bruce did not have a depression, though it was sure that his will to save and will to fight against the injustice was a result of the guilt he had for his parents' death. She wondered if he felt that it was his toll to pay. She wondered much more about him for that time. And she understood that most of Joker's speculations about him had been quite close to the truth. He was indeed a man, seeking control. He was a man that denied himself to be a just a man. Which he truly was, just like Joker. Come to think of it, the Joker and the Batman were not so different after all.

For a time after her discovery, she had only become incredibly angry. Sometimes she questioned whether she should go to Bruce, to confront him. For now, she understood precisely why she had always thought that he would save her. She had known all along that he was in fact the Batman. Thus, she understood that he had condemned her to her fate with the Joker. But after the rush of anger and disappointment she would most always return to the truth. For no Bruce nor Batman could have saved her from falling in love with that man. That was her responsibility and hers only.

When it came to Joker's plans, she understood his purpose only through Roman. He had explained to her that the murders (he thought to be carried out by the Joker) were part of his plans. However, he made no mention of his accomplices. Though he had intended for it to initiate some time ago, he was content to see some effects of the murders. She wondered, if Roman meant to kill Falcone, whoever would take his place? Though Joker and her were usually not involved with the politics of Gotham, were they now a crucial part of it. Besides, Diana was interested to see what exactly Roman was planning to do with all his power. She was one in many who found him most incompetent. Roman would never be able to control the city in the way Falcone had.

Even stranger was the fact that nobody had heard or seen anything from the Batman for the past months. To Diana it was not strange at all, she knew exactly why neither Bruce nor the Batman had made an appearance. She began to worry if Bruce had given up his fight against crime. Worry. And she rarely did such things. In fact she began to worry in what state he must have been because of the death of his lover. Perhaps, he had mourned her more gravely than he did Diana.

By the time that Christmas was upon them, Joker had prepared himself for the most unthinkable and vile act of them all. One that would end his contract to Roman and that would seal all other acts he had done. He never spoke to her of his plans, she did not ask anymore. She began to realize that he was pushing her away once more. Now, Diana had grown tired of this constant struggle for affection, and she too understood that even the idea of her love was destroyed, not just because he pushed her away, but because she was certain that he had become her enemy as well as her friend. She could not live with the secret that she held from him; she could not live with the person he was nor the person for whom she kept the secret. She was frustrated. And as a reaction to his distance, she too decided to turn away from him, gradually. His life had no space for her to fulfil, she was useless. But she could have been more.