Winter Sun- Larry Stylinson

October 23rd.

I couldn't breathe properly. I was just sat here in silence trying to find out when the last time I did actually take a breath was.

Then Louis sat down and it made me feel worse. He made it worse by opening his mouth. "You know if you're still this mad over it then there's truth to what I said."

I didn't have a snarky or stupid joke to make. I couldn't have even if I wanted to.

"Oh the silent treatment. Interesting." Taking a small drink of my water I tried to hold my tears back. But of course I struggled. "Louis please stop."

"Maybe I'm being a little mean but you shouldn't ignore me over it." Standing up from the table I make my way out of the classroom the second the bell rang.

My legs were killing me. I'd gotten bored of doing nothing yesterday so I'd started cleaning.

I was just cleaning and cleaning until Nina had stopped me in the midst of a breakdown. My hands were burning and my back felt like it had just been whacked.

I felt right at home.

I couldn't stay here anymore. I was just as welcome here as I was everywhere else.

No matter where I go there's always somebody out to get me. "Okay! Today's class we're doing soccer. I need you in your pe kits in ten minutes."

"Sir do you have a spare room? I can't get ready in there." He hums. Biting his cheek. "I will find one for you. Just wait there okay."

"Okay. Thank you." Louis raises his eyebrows at me. "You don't like the look of the normal people dressing rooms? Do you need a private one that badly?"

"Harry there's one over here. Tomlinson, move it." Denny wasn't just a principle, apparently he liked or that much he wanted to teach it.

"Ignore him. I swear that boy wouldn't know manners if it slapped him. I have that cream if you still need it." He holds up the box. "It's okay. Hopefully they'll go away soon. I can't use that, I'm allergic."

"Ah, if you need anything just let me know. Sorry I- walked in. It was seriously an accident." I shrugged it off. "It's fine."

"Tomlinson! Seriously is your crush on him that big. Move it." I hated getting dressed, it was my least favourite thing to do.

It hurt my arms and my head. I swear you'd think I was about 60 with the speed that I move at.

I tried to keep my eyes to myself but I'd started to struggle. I needed to know what it looked like. "Shit." The scarring was worse than the cuts. The bruising hadn't really faded.

There wasn't much I could do about it now. Best I could do was continue to where my jumpers and move on.

The school jumpers were sort of perfect for me. The fabric was soft and it was light.

It didn't hurt much. Plus I really liked the grey colour. "Harry guess what." Evan jumps in front of me. "What?"

"You can own anything as a pet. It's not a safe choice but you could do it. I mean a if you got the right things you could own a penguin. Or a goat. Imagine owning a goat."

"That would be cool. I could own a cow. I want a cow. We have a cat, but he's sort of mean. I want a cow, they're like big dogs."

"You have a cat?" He gasps. "Yeah his name is stink bug. He's pretty weird. I think he knows his name is stink bug so he's attacking us."

"Hm, yeah no that would make sense. You doing okay? You look tired." I shrug. "I feel a little, shit."

"How are the scars? My dad said you didn't want the cream. It's good cream. It's what I use when I cut myself surfing."

"No I'm just allergic." He pulls a disgusted face. "Oh that would've been bad. How are you feeling then? What's going on in your head?"

"I don't know I feel sort of, awful." He nods, his eyes a little wide. "I'd be in pain if I fell off my board too. I mean it can't feel good."

"Okay get into threes! We're gonna be passing!" Working with Louis was the only way I had of learning his little tricks.

He didn't seem too happy about it. "What's with the face Louis?" Evan asks. "Just trying to figure something out." He nods slowly.

"Interesting." Kicking the ball to Louis I accidentally underestimated the power and watched it hit him in the nose.

"What the fuck!?" Oops. "I'd say I felt bad but my mum never really enjoyed my lying, said it made me stupid."

"You just fucking hit me in the face with a ball! I'll fucking smack you stupid!" I shrug.

"Oopsie?" He pushes me back, his face slightly over the normal rad it should be. "What do your problem?"

"Oh I have many. Would you like a list via email or text? Would you like me to sign it Harry or Mr Styles- ooo how about, yours truly. That's a good one right?"

"You're a fucking dead man!" He swings, misses and just tackles me.

I felt my back basically freeze. I was struggling to breathe. "That was terrible. You didn't even do it right."

Standing up trying to ignore the burning in my chest I found Evan staring at me like a worried mother. "Are you okay?"

"Is he okay? I barely touched him. Don't baby him he needs to grow a pair." It was in that moment that I'd realised.

I wasn't the problem for him.

He just didn't have anybody else to attack. "I don't know what I've done but I'm seriously hoping you'll get over it soon because I don't know if I can do that again."

"You're really starting to piss me off now you know. I mean you were pissing me off before but now you're acting like your fucking dad and it's making it worse."

My mum was one thing but my dad?

My heart broke. I couldn't even find anything to say.

I've spent my whole life fighting for the opposite of what he gave me and now Louis just gets to say that out right with no consequences?

I would've enjoyed being hit more than hearing that ever again.

"Louis. Bench. Now." This was making things worse. "Are you fucking kidding me!? What else do you need!? Seriously it's pathetic, are you really much of a little bitch that you need to be protected?"

"Louis, move. Now." He laughs in my face, staring at me the same way Katie used to.

"It's pathetic. You're gonna end up 30 having men wipe your tears for you every time you hear the word no." Evan pushes him back.

"Shut up. Seriously you don't know shit." Louis waves his hands. "Oh I'm so sorry."