Winter Sun- Larry Stylinson

December 11th.

This and the epilogue is all that is needed because I don't think there's anything else I can do. I'm not doing third act breakup cause that shit pisses me off.

I just wanted a dramatic love confession. Do apologise. Xx

Louis Tomlinson.

Sitting on the edge of the bench I started to question why I was having a meltdown over this.

I hated going back and forth with him.

But I would rather do that than have to love him from a distance.

I just wish I hadn't spoken to him that day, maybe everything would've just been better if I had just gone home instead of letting him kiss me.

Maybe everything would've stayed the same. Maybe I'd still hate him to an extent.

Or maybe I should've just kept it to myself and asked him how he was instead of getting mad.

I hated everything about it.

I hated arguing with him, I didn't understand how it kept getting to this point.

How did we manage to fuck up every time we felt even a slight bit of something good.

I'll admit that I'd fucked up too but this seemed like something both of us had done. Like both of us had just not said enough.

Maybe if I said a little less and he said a little more we'd be fine.

I just wanted us to be okay.

"I got scared." He says, standing right at my feet. "Don't care."

"Can you try too?" I kept my eyes down. I didn't know if I could face him like this. "I told you I love you," I said, hearing that same sigh he let out before. "I was an idiot."

"No, no I was. I made you feel like you'd just spilt your whole life out for nothing. I'm so sick of hurting you, I'm sick of being hurt by you, Louis I just want to live my life with you. I just want you in my life, I want to wake up with you and go to bed with you, and everything in between that we'll figure out along the way."

"Harry, I don't think we're ever going to be able to just live our lives normally. We're both too fucked up to realise it so we stand around waiting for somebody to love us only to find out that it's fucking the same as every other day." I didn't want to be here anymore.

"We spend our lives hoping for somebody to love us beside our fucked up little life only to find out that even with that we're still the same fucked up asshole just with someone to hold your hand and tell you what you know isn't true."

"So then tell me, since we've been together, your life has been the same shitty life you had when you lived with your dad? You're telling me that I make you wanna drink yourself numb?"

"No, Harry. Actually you made me not want to fucking blow my brains out." He nods. "Mhm, that to me sounds like something that's not so shitty. You're just scared I'm not going to say it back so you're pushing me away."

"Yeah cause you're a fucking asshole." He sits beside me. "I know that. Everybody knows that. The reason I didn't say it was because I was afraid you'd laugh or something. Tell me you didn't mean it and you just wanted me to say it so you had something over me."

"Why- would anybody ever do that." He's gone quiet again. Staring around like the sun was in his eyes. "It's snowing." He whispered.

"I didn't know." I said. "Nobody does. I don't really like to think about the bad things in my life unless I need to fix them. My biggest fear is being a burden. So I keep it to myself."

He huffs. "Truth is..." he pauses. "I love you so much that sometimes I wonder if it's right. I've never- really felt this much love for somebody, I've felt love— not like this. It's different, it feels nicer, i don't think I could ever love anybody more if I'm honest."

"Bread." I mumbled. "Bread." He repeats.

"No im serious. I hate that it had to be this massive reveal that I loved you. I just wanted you to know. I wanted to say it to you while we were both falling asleep or something stupid."

"I'm sick of fighting with you. I can't be with anybody else because nobody else gets me the way you do. But I just can't keep fighting every time one of us feels a little bit of emotional pressure."

"It's getting a little dramatic." I turn to face him, both of us leaning forward. "I just want to live my stupid little life with you. Tell you I love you from time to time and do nothing."

"We can do that. I just— need to tell you that I'm sorry. From the bottom of my broken little heart, I'm sorry. I love you and I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry for using my problems against you. Bit of a dickhead move really." He snickers.

"I deserved it. I think when we get back I'm gonna start getting therapy. Work off some of the shit that I keep piling on you. I just want to spend my days with you until I die. Sometimes maybe sleep the day away but I want you there." He seemed a little happier.

"I love you." My heart jumped. "I love you too." I said. "Can we play in the snow now?"

"Evan and Darla have been listening the entire time by the way." I stand up going to reach for some snow. Evan tackling me into the snow.

"Jesus- ow." Smacking the snow I had in my hand into his face I push him away.

Hearing Harry start to giggle to himself, wiping the snow from his face as he lays down in the snow. "Oh god. It's fucking colder than I remember."

"It's a lot softer than it looks in the movies." Evan says, out of breath. "Yeah. But when you ball it up and squash it makes a weird sound."

My ass was soaked, it was freezing but my feet were fine so I didn't really care too much.

Then I felt it hit my face. Right on my nose, Harry's cheeks puffed up as he smiles. "Oops." He blows me a kiss. "You're dead."

"No I'm sorry." Tackling him back into the snow I felt my heart melt hearing that stupid laugh. "You're such an idiot."

"I'm sorry." He brushed the hair from my face. Leaning down to kiss him, his lips were freezing. "Dickhead."

Grabbing a hand full of snow I smack it into his face. "Not so nice is it?"