My Life In Two

We All Float Down Here

"Rick let's go!" I called up the stairs, impatiently waiting for Ricky to finish packing. Ricky, Starks and I are flying home which I am not happy about. Apparently Spencer told Ricky to take me back to PA. I don't know if he's trying to protect me or push me away. After arguing with him for a very long time about it, I gave in. "Just a minute!" I heard running around and then saw him run around the corner and down the stairs. "What were you doing?" I asked as we locked up the house. "I forgot that Spencer said your necklace was in the spare room in a box." I froze.

"I'm hiding this, even from you. In case there is immediate need to know, code word is the guest bedroom, and we'll refer to it as a necklace."

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!" I yelled, sounding panicked. "J. It's a necklace. Are you okay? I wasn't able to find it." I bit my lip nervously. "I'm good..just..a little stressed but I'll have Spencer look for it when he gets home." I gave him a small smile trying to hide my panic. "Are you ready to go?" Ricky asked as he held the car door open for me.

—
Ricky and I have been in PA for three days now. My nightmares are bad again, but I refuse to start taking the meds from that sketchy doctor, which is hard because I did not give my body enough time to taper off of them and now I'm having bad withdrawals. I changed into a shorts and tank top pajama set and shuffled my way to the fridge to grab leftover spaghetti and walked over to the couch with a blanket and Starks in tow.

"Hey." Ricky leaned into the doorway of the living room, beer in hand and smile on his face. I found myself blushing. "Hi." I shot him a smile and he found a spot next to me." What are you watching?" He asked while giving Starks a belly rub. "Some rom-com I found. I'm in a mood." He ran his fingers through his hair and took my hand. "J, I'm so sorry. He wanted me to bring you back here." Besides the small, sad "Hi's" in the courtroom, I have not had a conversation with Spencer since he was arrested. "What else did he say.."

"All he said was that he's causing you too much pain and I should bring you back to PA when this is all over." When this is all over? Is he giving up on me? This relationship that Spencer and I have created has become complicated. I love him but I know this mess we've made is too..messy. There is too much of a risk. "You've been through a lot Jace, it's time to take a break."

"Spencer is sitting in jail, and there's a chance he could go to prison and you just want me to sit back and relax?" I could feel my anger rise and I was not sitting anymore. Ricky stood up to get back to eye level with me. "He's trying to protect you. I'm trying to protect you." He spoke just above a whisper.

"I'm not some goddamn damsel in distress! I can protect myself." I marched towards my bedroom door but before I could slam it Ricky caught it and kept it open. Before you knew it my back was against the door and Ricky's lips met mine, and I reciprocated. He pulled away just centimeters from my face. "You don't deserve any of this, Jacee. You are so beautiful and I am still so in love with you. Stay here with me." Before I could say anything, if I could say anything, he left me stunned and went to his room.

My heart bursting at the seams, only something Ricky could make me feel. Spencer made me feel like a fucking goddess but Ricky feels like..home. I don't know what to do right now. I want Ricky but I love Spencer and I cannot just leave him in the dust. Whether I like it or not, I'm tied into this mess, something Ricky doesn't understand.

"Jacee!" Ricky sounding panicked called for me from his room. I booked it down the hallway and into his room to find him on his phone with tears thrilling to spill out. "Are..you okay?"

"Acquitted. They found him innocent!" A big smile crept on his face and I let out a sigh that I've been holding in for a while. "Holy shit." Ricky and I sat in silence crying happy tears. Spencer was coming home and now I needed to cut ties with this toxicity without completely losing Spencer.

Authors note
Hi Friends! 💖
Fair warning, there is one chapter left and will be a big one! I want to thank everyone for reading and voting! I've never claimed to be the best writer but creating stories has been very therapeutic to me during the course of this disastrous year.

I do have a new story out called White Noise // Noah Sebastian. Feel free to check it out. 😊
Until next time!