Your body is a weapon and it's is killing me, making me to bleed, and making me weak. getting me addicted to you, even though you are a poison in my hands. craving to be so close to you, even knowing that you are not the one for me. neither am i for...
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I ran into her again, this time in a place I never expected to see her in: the parking lot of a Los Angeles primary school. First and foremost, I was not sure if that was her; surely it was her side profile and figure, but who knows - maybe I am still that needy man, even if it is been almost six years since she left me with my broken heart.
My daughter and I waited inside the warm car until the school bell rang for first period; she was not constantly with me, so I wanted to enjoy every moment with her. "Daddy we have to go, do not you hear the bell?" She pouted for a moment before I switched off the car and grabbed her pink backpack.
As we walked towards the school, she held my hand in hers and told me about her toys that were at her mother's house. "Are you going to buy me that doll? I miss her when I am with you," my almost five-year-old knew I was weak for her and would go to any length to keep her happy while she was with me.
"I will, you know I always do that," she said, jumping into place as her buddies approached us. "I see you are busy, young lady, lemme put your backpack on your shoulders" , she said with a smile and then she hugged me softly.
"I love you, daddy!" she yelled. "I love you even more, Heaven!" I shouted as she grabbed her friend's hand as they headed into school together. While still turning to wave at me.
So, did I name my child after my worst heartbreak? I did. Can you blame me for doing anything like that? I do not think so, but go ahead and try. Just keep in mind that her mother approved of the name idea and accepted it. (Of course, she had no idea why.)
I slowly turned to face her, waving goodbye to the small boy with longer hair and a sloppy haircut. . I could not see his face, but the amount of sass he had when speaking to her was a dead giveaway that it was her child.
I assumed she had a son around the same age as my daughter. We both went on with our lives after annihilating each other. The issue with all of this is that I would do it all over again for her without hesitation. She is the one who instilled a new sense of wildness in my heart and thoughts. I hope she was not aware of how much I loved her more than myself; that type of love hurts the most because it robbed me of a piece of myself.
I don't hold anything against her, I never did. I am still persuaded that something happened that day, and she ran like a scared rabbit as far away from me as she could, as an indication of natural defensive mechanisms in the human psyche.
