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LUST FOR LIFE, matthew gray gubler ✔

Fanfiction

Your body is a weapon and it's is killing me, making me to bleed, and making me weak. getting me addicted to you, even though you are a poison in my hands. craving to be so close to you, even knowing that you are not the one for me. neither am i for...

#agegap #angst #criminalminds #drama #fanfic #fanfiction #happyending #hollywood #matthewgraygubler #matthewgraygublerxreader #mgg #mggxfemoc #mggxreader #midnightrain #mxf #olderguy #shortchapters #shortstoryfanfic #smuttyfanfic #smutwarning #spencerreid #spencerreidxoc #spencerreidxreader #texttospeech #vinniehacker #youngergirl

and there you are, right beside me

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by doktorreid

by doktorreid

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━━ matthew ━━

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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ━━ Heaven never stayed with me. Except for that one night when we both fell asleep at the same time. That perturbed me so much that I felt like an abandoned child deep within my psyche.

‎She was always on the move. But she constantly came back, like a boomerang, shattering my emotions just when I was about to feel nothing.

‎Maybe you ran to avoid feelings?
That could have been a wonderful thing, right? Not catching feelings in this lustful connection.

‎It is our lust for life that keeps us alive.
It is our lust for love that keeps us apart.

For her, I am merely a fool, or maybe she is just too good for me. Only time will tell. Time is the most effective teaching method.

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‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ━━ As I already indicated, I was her man. As a result, I needed to get closer to her, to be her shadow, her cloud.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ━━ Heaven Holden, my eyes were filled with her name as I was searching for something on the Internet. Full, wild, and scandalous girl with a gorgeous face and a not-so-pretty reputation in this town.

‎Young rebellious teenager from Los Angeles, spoilt girl. That is exactly what she was. They could not know she was caring, emotional, and pleasant. That is what I discovered about her after 5 months of seeing her.

How could a man like me find her down? Even better, how could a man like me not fall for her? Now I see why young males chase after her and why she has so many boyfriends at such a young age. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎
‎But the guys her age are not mature; all they want is her body. I will admit that I want her body as well, but it is serious - I crave her body on mine practically every second of my life.

‎Even now, she is there beside me, but I know she will not be for long. It is time for my bunny to hop off away, away from me, my feelings, and us.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ She's ready to go. ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

‎She is leaving once again. And I am watching how her clothing cover up her bare body. After all, I had wondered why she is continually leaving. After we became one multiple times. ‎ When I asked her why, she told me it was because of me. Because I have never asked her to stay.

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ It was too late to ask her to stay.
So I watched her go, next time she won't leave. I'll make sure that she stays.

Maybe I was 42 years old back then, but I was so dumb man. She was something golden and I was looking for silver.