Nova Academy

Beach City (Epilouge: Part Three)

Driving back into Beach City made Steven nauseous with emotion.

It was only early September, so the sun was as hot as he remembered and the distant sound of the ocean crashing in the background was painfully nostalgic and still, awful.

He'd missed it here. He'd missed the people, he'd missed the stories. He supposed a part of him missed the trauma too. The Big Donut was still open but Dewey had long abandoned post in favor of a new server. They didn't have the time to stop, they were on a mission.

He wanted to be thrilled to be home, he really did. But the anxiety he was dealing with clouded any amount of excitement he might have.

Connie rubbed his arm, trying to soothe his glow away with encouraging phrases like, "It'll be okay." and "It's only as scary as you make it seem." Sometimes he could feel her trembling slightly too, but she was holding it together for his sake. That only irritated him further.

"I hate it here." His stress was making him grouchy, too.

"Don't be like that, Steven. It's home." She kissed his hand. "I promise, it's going to go fine and the Gems–,"

It exploded out of him before he could
stop to think. "You're not above this! I know there's reasons you didn't come back either, don't bother trying to pull a Sapphire on me!"

"I never said I was above this," She said calmly which only made him more frustrated. Of course she would say the right thing, she was his other half as much as Ruby was Sapphire's.

"See? Everything's changed so much! I-I barely... I barely even recognize my own home." He didn't want to cry over this, he wanted to be an adult about this but all fighting tears was doing was make his chest burn harder. "I missed the exit twice! I feel like I've spent so much time away with nothing to show for it but abuse! H-How am I going to tell them about... h-her? What have I even accomplished in "searching for myself"? Just... don't be a hypocrite, Connie. I don't need the sugarcoated bullshit this time." He squeezed her hand and pulled it away to grip the steering wheel. He parked on the far side of the beach so they wouldn't be as obvious in their arrival and shut it off.

"Please, don't break the car again, Steven." She unbuckled and turned to completely face him, her expression telling him he'd made her crossness come out too. "I don't want to make you think I don't care. It's completely valid to feel so conflicted, but you're not going to take it out on me." She's so patient with him, she's already succeeded in quelling his anger but now he's afraid.

"I know, I'm sorry. There's just... even this beach. Concussions, fractures, near death experiences. I can see them as if they are happening right now and I'm helpless to save myself. I hate reliving these nightmares! I hate it!" The panic attack crushed the oxygen from his lungs and he instinctively grabbed his chest, feeling he suffocating under the building pressure.

Connie reached over to hold his face firmly. "Steven. Steven! I'm here! You're going to be okay! Breathe slower, breathe in tempo. Can you do that?" He couldn't breathe enough, or comprehend enough to respond, but he nodded. "Listen: Here comes a thought, that might alarm you. Something they did, and how it harmed you. Something they did, that failed to be charming. Things that they've done are, suddenly swarming–,"

He caught his flow again, resting his hand over hers. "But oh, I'm losing sight. I'm losing touch. All these massive things seem to matter so much, that they confuse me. That I might lose me."

She joined back in, rubbing at the tears on his cheeks and grinning when he took the harmony. "Take a moment remind yourself to, take a moment and find yourself. Take a moment to ask yourself if this is how you/I fall apart." Her thumbs trace over his features as the car pulsed with his magic.