Dito at Ngayon

Chapter 9: Flashbacks of Us

"Amie, tandaan mo to," sabi ko sa kanya, "I will wait hanggang sa makayanan mo na ulit magmahal. Hanggang sa matanggap mo na ang past ko. Hanggang sa matanggap mo na hindi na ako yung taong nakilala mo noon. Hindi na ako yung lalaking playboy dahil brokenhearted ako kay Demi. Hindi na ako yun. Iintayin ko hanggang sa matanggap yun. We need to forget the past. What's important is here and now. We should treasure what we have right now. I promise, I'll never do those things to you. I'll never hurt you."

It may be hard to believe, but I meant every word I said to her at that very moment. I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to do anything to see any tears falling from her eyes that would stain her beautiful face. I wanted to be the reason why she's still smiling despite the pain she'd felt from the past. I want to be her happiness.

Inakap ko siya sabay bulong, "I have really fallen for you, Amie. Ayoko pang sabihin yung three words sayo, cause I don't want you to think that they are already meaningless. I've said it to a lot of girls before and it didn't mean anything to me. But with you, it's different. I know it's really hard to believe right now. But I will prove it to you. Just you wait."

Pero alam ko sa sarili ko na mahal ko na talaga siya. I remember the feeling I felt back when I was in love with Demi, and the intensity of love that I'm feeling for Amie right now is way beyond what I felt before. And no words can ever really explain how exactly I feel about her.

Months after that happened, I finally said those three words to her.

"Amie, I love you. And nagpromise na ako sayo na papatunayan ko sayo na totoo ang nararamdaman ko. Na hindi kita niloloko at kahit kelan di ko gagawin yun sayo. Na nagbago na ako."

Hinawakan ko ang pisngi niya, tapos unti-unting nilapit kong nilipat ang mukha ko sa kanya. Pero hindi ko siya matignan sa mata kasi naiiyak ako. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest.

"Amie, mahal na mahal na mahal kita," sabi ko ulit na medyo nanginginig na yung boses ko, at tinignan ko na siya, "Ikaw lang yung babaeng nakapagparamdam ulit saken kung paano magmahal. Kaya kahit na dati may boyfriend ka pa, hindi ko maintidihan kung bakit ang aligaga ko kapag kasama ka. You made me feel alive again. You made me realize that I needeed to change. And I'm sorry if I chose you out of all the other girls pero hindi ko yun pagsisisihan. Mahal kita, Amie. Mahal na mahal."

Umiiyak na ko ngayon. At wala na akong pakielam kung makita niya at kung ano isipin niya. This is the very first time I told anyone those things with absolute sincerity. I wanted to kiss her when I saw her smile a little. But, I had to ask her something first.

"Amie, will you be my girlfriend?"

She didn't answer, and for a second I really felt like she was going to say no. But then she surprised me when she suddenly moved forward and kissed me straight at the lips. This was our very first kiss. And I'm sure as hell gonna treasure everything about our first kiss. The softness of her lips against mine. The warmth it made me feel. And the urge to just keep kissing her because I didn't want to stop.

When we broke the kiss, it was in sync. We had to have a breather. And after a few seconds, I got the courage to ask, "Is that a yes?"

She smiled and nodded her had. And I couldn't be happier. I hugged her tight and said, "Thank you, Amie! Thank you. I won't make you regret it. I love you so much."

And I meant it. I meant every word of it. I won't make her regret her "Yes". I'll do everything I can to always make her happy. I'll do anything and everything so she won't leave me. I'll do my very best to be the best boyfriend she could have had, she has, and will ever have. I'm  not planning on letting go, ever.

But my eyes suddenly spilled some tears a little more, because of what he answered me.

"I love you too, Greg," she whispered in his ear. And I just couldn't hold myself because a second later, I kissed her again and I didn't know how long it took for our lips to separate again. But one thing is for sure, out of all the girls I've fooled and played around me with, Amie is definitely not going to be one of them.