(BTS FF) Ending Green

twenty⭒❃.✮:▹realizing green

Riya's POV

After my friends found out what my parents did to me, Jungkook set up cameras in my apartment. He said it would help me feel safe, and through the blur of it all, I forgot; I forgot until he reminded me.

I know what this means. I'll be able to see if what Chansoo did to me was a dream or not. 

I'm terrified. 

This is what Jungkook was telling Seic; he was telling him in his own way that we would have evidence to show him. He was trying to spare my sanity, I think, but I'm not sure anything can spare that.

Jungkook said he would sit with me while I watched it if I needed him to, but I refused. I couldn't bear to have him watch that. My cheeks turned red hot at the thought of the humiliation that would follow.

He wanted to stay with me again when morning arrived. He wanted to skip work for me, but I told him no. I told him I'll be okay.

I let him drop me off at therapy.

I'm scared, and I know he can tell. 

He suggested I watch the footage with my therapist, or have her watch it for me. He didn't want me to be alone when I watched it, so here I am sitting on the chair opposite of my therapist. 

The cameras in my apartment come with an app that allows you to download the footage, and my therapist is doing just that.

With a cup of coffee and burning eyes, I watch my her do so.

She asked if I wanted to watch it with her. I told her, 'If there's anything bad, just tell me.'

She said a simple okay, but I could tell she wanted to say more. Instead, she grabbed me a coffee—something she never does—and made sure I was comfortable first.

The cardboard around my coffee cup creases as my hold on it tightens.

She's wearing headphones due to my protest, so whatever she's hearing is unclear, but I can still see her expression. I don't like it; it reads that something terrible happened, and I don't want that. I don't want anything terrible to happen to me, and I don't want to remember anything terrible that has happened to me. I just want to live in peace.

I want to vomit, but before I can follow that desperate need, she slowly removes the earbuds.

I sit up straighter.

Maybe it isn't that bad. Maybe it really was just a bad dream. Maybe this will all go away.

"Riya," she begins carefully. "There are things happening in this video that we need to talk about."

My throat restricts. "What about?"

She holds my phone out to me, but I shake my head quickly.

"You don't have to watch it right now," she relays gently. "I was just giving it back to you."

I hesitate before nodding and taking it. I wordlessly place it beside me as I await her next words.

She's studying me closely, and my insides burn with shame.

What can she see? Does she see Chansoo when she looks at me?

I place my coffee down.

She asks, "What's going through your mind right now?"

I push my finger nails to meet my palms. "Was it terrible?"

"Riya." She's trying to soothe me, but it's not working.

I squeeze my eyes shut.

Why won't she tell me?

She continues, "Before we talk about the video, can we talk about how you're feeling?"